Dan And Shan

Indigestion

2012-01-05T16:42:00.001-08:00

We have heard many stores of couples going into the hospital thinking they were going into labor and then being sent home on account of indigestion; however, we have heard few stories of which the couple went in thinking it was indigestion to have it be that they were potentially going into labor.

We were released from the hospital today around 1:30pm this afternoon after what was a crazy 36 hours in the hospital. The last two days came at a complete surprise to us, as it did you so let me quickly recap what happened to you and the diagnosis.

Shannon called me from class on Tuesday evening saying that her stomach hurt thinking it was something she ate. When she got home from class her stomach still hurt and the pain was moving into her back. After calling her doctor we were told to come in to the hospital. We went and were asked questions that we have never been asked, they asked Shannon "Do they feel like contractions?" to which her response was "What do contractions feel like?" Very quickly we realized that Shannon was having contractions less then 2 minutes apart from each other for a number of hours.

The diagnosis: The doctors were able to stop the contractions (which is good because we are only at 32 weeks in our pregnancy and baby V needs more time to develop). After MANY tests they were able to figure out that it was not pre-term labor, but that Shannon's body was fighting some sort of a infection (seen by a high white cell blood count) and this somehow triggered the contractions.

The doctors treated the infection with antibiotics but were not able to decisively say what caused the infection in the first place. They have told Shannon to "take it easy" but did not put her on bed rest. Our son is doing great, every time the doctors came in they commented on how active he is, and he was diligent about kicking at any sort of devices that they tried to put on Shans stomach. The truth is that hearing his heartbeat for the last 36 hours brought us so much joy, I couldn't look away from the machine that gave us the count per minute.

Our continue prayer is that the infection doesn't return, that Shan continues to get more healthy and that baby V is born healthy and not for another month or so.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS AND SUPPORT, last night as Shannon was sleeping I pulled my phone out and spent about a hour or so reading (in tears of gratitude) through messages from you all. We are SO blessed to have you in our life and can't wait to one day (in about 1 1/2 month) to introduce you to our son.

Whats Next?

2011-09-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

The natural question that is waiting to be answered from myprevious post is, “What is next?”

Good question, here is my answer.

On the same day that I put in my two-week notice at Grace Ialso gratefully accepted a position at The Church at Rancho Bernardo (http://www.thechurchatrb.org/)as their Student Ministries Director (or Youth Ministries Director). I am going to be leading the highschool ministry and working with the Junior High pastor as she leads the JuniorHigh ministry. There is a greatteam of Pastors on staff there that I am excited to be a part of the ministrythat most of them have been doing for the last 10+ years, a lot of the originalstaff from when the church first planted back in 1991 are still on staff at thechurch.

As Shannon and I prayed about where the Lord would lead usnext, which each interview (and there were a lot of them) we felt instantly athome. There are many things that Iam excited about in coming to CRB. Along with a great history of where the church has been and how it hascome to be where it is now, there is a great passion for the Kingdom Buildingand for sharing the love of Christ. Upon logging onto their website you will see verily early that their specific goal is to "Build Believers, Reaching Seekers and Change the World." There is a healthy tension of ‘already, not yet.’ in that they have doneso much, yet know that God has just begun in their ministry and churchbody.

What I am most excited about is being able to continue inyouth ministry and to have a more specified role in being able to minister tohigh school students, while partnering with the junior high ministry. I am excited to create arelational-worship-experience not just on Sunday mornings, but one thatconnects to family systems, weaved through the rest of the church body, and canbe shared throughout the North County as an authentic relationship with Christ.

I feel incredibly blessed. As I have received a tremendous amount of support in thistransition, as I am joining and incredible church family and staff, as I lookat my wife and the baby being formed inside of her and imagine ourselvesraising our child in this church, and as I have the opportunity to continue in fulltime vocational ministry. It is alife that I don’t deserve; but, because of a tremendous amount of grace andmercy that has been extended to us all I can to step into this next chapter ofministry.

Please be praying with me (us) in this next season on ministry.

Blessings,

Dan (& Shannon)

Big Changes

2011-09-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

This week has been one of the most challenging weeks I havehad in youth ministry. On Sunday09/18/11, after much prayer and many conversations with leadership within thechurch, I gave my two-week notice with Tom and the Personnel committee atGrace. I have spent a lot of timecalling students and families this week; however, time is of the essence and Iam wanting to give as much time as possible to the Grace family to askquestions and have any needed conversations before my last day at Grace. My last day at Grace will be09/29/11. I apologize for theimpersonal nature of hearing about this if this is the first time you arehearing it. There will be a formalannouncement this Sunday in both church services and both Shannon and I willbe here to talk to you this Sunday.

Working at Grace has been such an amazing blessing. In many ways we feel, as our time hasbeen cut-short. The people atGrace are incredible and the youth will go on one day to change the world. It was not an easy decision to be made,but God often times calls us to make difficult decisions. The main theme around this decision wasone of longevity. Longevity bothfor Grace and for my family, as we prayed and talked with Grace it wasdetermined that Shannon and me needed to pursue a job opportunity that wouldbetter provide for our family and for our future in vocational full-timeministry.

Working at Grace has been a blessing to be with the churchmembers and a part of the ministry that has been taking place in the past twoyears. Working as a staff member,and participating as a church member, has been a great experience to be a partof an incredible church family.

If you have any questions, please feel free to call,facebook, text, email, or any other form of communication that you would liketo use.

In Deep Gratitude,

Dan (& Shannon)

the extraordinary in the ordinary...

2010-12-23T09:43:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I held my cousin’s two day old baby girl. Her feet kicked and her arms wrapped around themselves as if she was hugging herself. She turned towards me and wanted me to hold her in close, secure, wrapped warm and snuggly. What struck me, and always strikes me when holding babies is the size of her feet. Not even as long as my index finger, those little feet. Where will they go, what will they take her to do, and who will she be standing on those feet throughout her life? What adventures will this little life go on? It was an ordinary moment. Holding a child in my arms, and yet whispers of the divine danced around that living room that evening for as I stared at the wrinkles separating her toes from the ball of the foot, I was reminded of Jesus. That thousands of years ago God became man and stepped into our world. God the creator of this sweet little life I was holding, himself became this small, this vulnerable, this helpless.

The events surrounding his birth were anything but extraordinary, but the crux of the matter is that in our world, the ordinary is always sprinkled with the extraordinary, and so to a teenage couple born in the equivalent of a gas station restroom, God himself was born into time, into the realities of our world. Born into the filth, and the pain. The celebration, and transformation. Born into humanity with all its triumphs and foibles. Born into the ordinary…for you, for me. For Juan and Hakim who work at the gas station down the street. For Charlene, the homeless woman I know. For the chefs at the swanky restaurants in our downtown hotels. For the Google execs. For the engineers, and the service men and women at the energy companies. For the family who owns the Christmas tree farm that I drive by on my way to church. For the teenagers on the street and for the kids who live in the slums of urban centers around the world. For the teachers who work hard to tell children about our world and their role in it day after day, week after week. Born, to ordinary people like you and me. Born for us into our ordinary lives so that we might just get a glimpse into the miraculous in the mundane. That we might slow down enough to feel and sense the longing in our souls for something more. That we were created to live in relationship with the living God. And that we’d begin to see God in our ordinary lives, for indeed he is all around us, and his birth reminds us that God’s brush strokes are plastered all over the canvas of our lives, if only we have the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the heart to feel his presence.

So this Christmas, may we be more attuned to the extraordinary breaking into the ordinary, walking around, shopping, laughing, sleeping, cooking, parts of our lives, for indeed that little baby brings so much more than wrinkly toes and a warm snuggle. He brings hope, and the mystery of the miraculous breaking into time and history to help us see the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Creating or Consuming?

2010-10-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

While I am embrassed at how stickin' long it's been since we've blogged on here, this is one of my attempts to change that. You see, I have for several weeks now been observing how much I am a consumer versus a creator or contributor to life. When we consume we get good ideas, but they remain that... good ideas. When we consume we are depleated because all the information and goodness we can consume doesn't change us, it just sits in us and is wasted. For someone with the Strength of Input I love to collect ideas, but I have to be careful that my collecting doesn't just become consuming of information for no reason. So, I've been asking myself lately how I am spending my time. Am I contributing to people, allowing what I read to change me, and tap into my creativity or am I just consuming information to pass the time.

With facebook and twitter now, it's easy to read posts and links without allowing them to really taking root. So this fall, I'm choosing to slow down and seek to allow the things I read to change and challenge me, not just fill me up as an information container. I wonder if you'll join me in choosing to create instead of just consume. Here are two people I don't know personally, but who I think are living in the ways I want to, creatively and thoughfully. Many Steward and Blaine Hogan. I am blessed by their words and art.

Are you a creator and contributor rather than just a consumer?

sloppy wet kiss

2010-07-09T11:26:00.000-07:00

Don't let the title confuse you, there will be no awkward first make out stories in this blog post.

One of the main themes in seminary that has been constantly reoccurring as we have written papers, counseled people (both in real life an in academic skill building life), read books, shared quotes, has been the importance of understanding the different contexts. Often times people misunderstand the bible because they assume that it was written to them and while God certainly wrote the bible for them/us it wasn't actually written to us. It was written to the different churches and people that the biblical authors were addressing in their time.

Its amazing how we do the same thing with biblical interpretation as we do with how we interpret other things in our everyday lives. News stories take snap shots and paraphrased quotes to spell out the message they are hoping to portray rather then the actual story that took place, we recap heated conversations to show how we perceived the conversation rather then how it actually happened, high school students tell of the meanness of their parents for taking away their facebook privileges but leave out the side in which they ran their parents car into the tree because they were on facebook while they were driving and the list could go on an on.

There is a song that has been played often in churches and in our chapel at Bethel Seminary called by "How he loves us." The song was originally introduced by a well-known band called The David Crowder Band and its popularity grew from there. It is a great song and as people began to replay the song in their own worship settings and sing one of the lines which says "...heaven meets earth like a unforeseen kiss..." many were able to deeply connect with the words of the song (here is the song played by David Crowder in case your interested in hearing his song).

Recently I purchased another album by Jared Anderson called Live From My Church which is a great album. He has one of my favorite worship leaders/singers/song writer. If you want to hear why then listen to this song and skip to the end of it to hear his vocal range. After I heard this one, I have been hooked ever since. He has only gotten better.

Jared does a rendition of the song "How He Loves" in which he sings lyrics that say "...heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss..." At our first listening I called my wife and told her about his version and her response was "Noooo, Jared why would you do that!!!!" Both of us felt like something was stolen from our favorite worship song as it was shifted from a imaginative picture of heaven coming to earth (as a "unforeseen kiss") to a "sloppy wet kiss."

An "...unforeseen kiss..." seems a little more poetic then "...a sloppy wet kiss..." when singing a worship song.

What I learned this week was that the song's original author was not David Crowder (I'm sure I should have known that prior to this week, but I didn't so drop it.) but a guy named John Mark McMillan. As I looked up the song "How he loves" and the story behind it I realized that I have missed so much of the original context in which the song was written from. After watching the video below I am now a bigger fan of sloppy wet kisses sent down from heaven as it was intended to be a portrayal of a life's messiness and the grace that God has for us in the midst of it.

I wonder how often we get upset at people, or misunderstand people simply because we miss the context of which they are communicating from?

I might even go home now and give my wife a big sloppy wet kiss to celebrate my change in heart.

Life As We Know It

2010-02-18T15:36:00.000-08:00

As you can see from either our lack of posts or our inability to return phone calls life has been very busy but good for us this past couple of months. I thought some pictures could best explain what has been happening.

In no particular order this characterizes our life in the last couple of months. I apologize if I forget something, or someone.

If you were to ask us this past summer what our dream situation would be for the next year we would have told you; "For me (dan) to find a full time

job, for us to be able to

buy a house, and for that house to be close to the beach." At the time we were living a very creepy and rustic cabin eating camp full and carrying around walky talkees (sp?) with no idea what life would have for us once we finished the summer.

As you know from my previous post I took a position at a small church in Vista Ca. We recently got back from our 1st winter retreat where we took 13 students up to big bear. Less one fender bender the trip was a complete success. The group name is Montage. The meaning behind the name is comes out of the id

ea that we are all different but through Christ we can come together as one. In this unity we show ourselves as a montage to the world. Under the umbrella of Montage Youth Ministries we are going to be starting a study hall/tutoring service to the city of vista. I am very excited and continue to be challenged with being at Grace Presbyterian Church.

Things that our new; well (don't worry this blog post has nothing to do with future mini-vandewarkers run

ning around... sorry to disappoint) we have a home. It was crazy. It was our first offer, our first house, and we were home owners living in our new home in less then a month. You can see our bright green kitchen, which I love because it reminds me of my sassy wife, but what you can't see is the countless hours that our families put into helping us make this our new home. We love the house and it is only 2.69 (not that I am counting) miles away from the beach. A huge incentive

for our nephews to come visit us. And we have a extra bedroom so if you are ever in the area we would love to have you.

The beach has become our refuge away from school, house work, to do list, and even our jobs. We feel so blessed to be living where we are.

Then last, but not least, there is the dog. FINALLY i get to have my dog back. And Shannon has even taken to him and says things like "I just love you so much..." Who would have thought? Evidence that God is at work in making my joys hers... But seriously, we have loved having a pet. Even in the worse days we come home and see his wagging tail and it puts into perspective the simple things in life. And my parents even call and ask for me to bring him up to visit...

Life is good. We are busy. We are thankful.

WOW

2009-09-22T09:08:00.001-07:00

It has been a long time since we have written on this page and for that I apologize.

Let catch up with one event at a time shall we... (I apologize ahead a time for the length of this e-mail... isn't it funny when people apologize for something they are in total control of... doesn't make for a very good apology).

As I stepped foot on Forest Home grounds in the beginning of June, no one could have told me how great this summer was going to be. No one could have told me how powerful this camp is, represented by its past, present and future. The past including inspiration figures like Billy Graham and Bill Bright. The present in its vision statement that is clearly lived out in almost all it does, “To provide a place away from the distractions of the world, where they can hear the word of God and encounter Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Its future in the creativity that flows forth from the people that work here as they dream about how to reach out to future generations.

If you have never been to Forest Home then you have never seen the 500 acres in which it is located. You have never seen the 13,000 people that come to the camp each year. You have never seen the different campsites in which minister to a different age group; Indian Village is for 3^rd and 4^th grade, while Adventure Mountain is 5^th and 6^th, Creekside is Jr. high and Lakeview is Sr. High. Then there is Family Camp, where for some this is the only week a year when mom and dad don’t have cell phone service or access to their e-mail. Family camp is the camp where you hear stories of marriages being reunited and the power of prayer in its ability to comfort in times of plenty and in need.

Forest Home truly is a remarkable place which truly is making the world a better place.

As you may or may not know our primary responsibility was to the staff of Forest Home. Here are some of the things that the staff had to say about the summer.

“When I finally ran out of my own strength and stopped striving it was beautiful. God showed me he was outside of my control waiting for me to realize how much I need him—how much I want him. When I went dry and God overflowed with grace and beauty.”

I experienced his love for me specifically through the staff. God showed me my value. Never ever have I felt so valuable.

God has taught me perseverance and just how great and amazing he is. I have learned to love God more this summer than I ever have.

This past semester was full of some difficult and challenging experiences. Being able to live up here for the whole summer away from routines and distractions has been a breath of fresh air in my life. Through the environment and the people here, I have restored my walk with God and have been truly inspired to seek him wholeheartedly.

God taught me that His strength will shine through me when I have none.

I have seven pages of quotes from people expressing what this summer meant for them.

The two most frequent questions we have received from our friends and family are: ‘are you glad you went? and was it what you expected?’ So I thought I would answer those questions for you.

Shannon and I could not have chosen a better way to spend this summer. While we missed seeing our friends and family, this summer was one that we will remember for the rest of our lives. We will remember the creepy cabin in which we called home, we will remember the great people that we worked with, we will remember and we will remember the feeling of being a part of a ministry that is truly living out the gospel message. Yes we are glad that we came to Forest Home because it has shown us that we are indefinitely called to be serving as ministers of God’s word. It has affirmed us in the calling of which you support us both with your finances and with you prayers.

It is harder to answer the second question. For myself I had not been to Forest Home before. Truth be told working at Forest Home was a lot like previous jobs that I have had. It is constant interaction with people, some more needy then others. It is always changing as to what our responsibilities are and with what my daily “tasks”are. It is extremely service related, both to the staff and to the campers in which seek Forest Home as a place of refuge and retreat. It also has minimal sleep and time off…

Where it has exceeded my expectations was in the staff in which was hired to work this summer and the ‘programs’ which are designed to connect campers to the spiritual rhythms of the Almighty God. Like I have never experienced it before was the power and potential unleashed through people that are committed to serving God with all their heart, mind, soul and strength.

Once we were done at Forest Home I left to go to Northern California to help my brother with his business for two weeks trying to make as many connections as possible with churches in the San Diego County. Once arriving home I interviewed with a church in Vista called Grace Presbyterian and shortly after the interview I was offered the position of being their Youth Director for both Junior High and Senior High school groups. I have been here for almost two weeks now and I am loving it. There has been a bit of a learning curve as Shannon and I have started school, a new job, trying to catch up with our friends from the summer and looking for a new place to live; but, life has been great and the future is one that we are approaching with excitement.

I am so grateful for the experiences of the past year. My time at EFCC was life changing working for and with such a great group of people who continue to support and encourage me. Forest Home was amazing for Shannon and I on so many levels and Grace already feels like home to us.

I have decided to terminate my support raising account with SMI as I am now in a full time position and by the blessing and providence of God we are able to survive without it. I have been so blessed by the experience of support raising. Something that was approached at first with much hesitancy as now turned into such a blessing. I look at where I am at now and know that it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with God who has enabled me to be here through you (the reader).

Thank you and I am looking forward to writing more about my adventures in youth ministry!

Wrecking Ball

2009-05-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

My apologies for my inability to keep up to date on the blog. Life has been very full for us. A fitting analogy is that of a wrecking ball. With finals and Forest Home right around the corner, in the past week we have moved our stuff into storage and our necessities in the spare bedroom of my parents house, research and credo papers due in the next two weeks, and the sad news of loosing Shannon's grandma early this morning at 1:30 am, life is like a wrecking ball that we are trying to stay in front of before it clears us out of the way.

Ready or not, in two weeks we will be done with our 7th quarter of seminary and into our new job's at Forest Home.

I recently had the great honor and privilege to preach at my childhood church Cornerstone Church of Escondido. There is a link to the sermon audio on the top of this page. I have begun the process of trying to figure out where God would have us at once our time at Forest home is over; but we also are committed to giving our best to Forest Home while we are there.

This week The Gathering is going to have a fair-well evening for Shannon and I. It has been a very challenging and emotional process for us to leave a group of people that we have been so committed to over the past two years. It has not simply been a job, but a community and a family of brothers and sisters. Leaving Emmanuel Faith will be us faithfully stepping away from what has been home for us and into a hope for what is in stored for us in the future. We are so grateful for their support and encouragement of us as they prepare to send us off this week into what God would have next for us.

We are excited for what is waiting for us and somewhat stressed with how much we still have to do. We are eagerly stepping into what God has for us and diligently working where God has us.

chaos and celebrations...

2009-05-11T16:40:00.000-07:00

Well life is a little nuts right now. Our apartment is full of boxes. It is pure overwhelmingness. I have found that the only place where I can have peace in our house is on my bed... and I am okay with that. As we pack up and prepare for Forest Home and the adventure the Lord has prepared for us there, I have begun to reflect on the lives around me. I think transitions tend to do that. We come to the end of a time and the beginning of another and we seek to connect and reconnect with each other because, that is what keeps us stable and grounded. So for me though this transition will bring stretching in me, I find that more than anything I am deeply grateful. In this gratitude I have found many celebrations happening around me.

Last weekend we celebrated the wedding of a good friend of ours as he married his sweetheart in a misty-fairy tale like ceremony. Congrats Travis and Olivia! On Saturday, the day after the big move, we will celebrate the wedding of Amanda and Kelby, two who are very close to our hearts and ministries. My sweet "San Diego friend" Lauren just called a few days ago to tell me the great news... she did in fact get into law school. And though it will be a challenge she and her husband Nels will be quite a matter to reckon with when they are both done and both... lawyers. As we prepare for camp we also prepare to be in three weddings in the next four months. My very close roommate from college is marrying the love of her life and we have been so blessed to see God's hand at work in their relationship as He has brought them together in a very unexpected and surprising way. Em, I can't wait to stand with you on your big day! Dan's brother, Aaron will tie the knot in June to the lovely Desiree (whose name we like to say in a southern accent just for fun). She is fabulous and they are very great together. Then our great friends Tara and Matt will share their vows in September.
As the fall hits, we will become an aunt and uncle... again but this time on my side as my brother Keats and Sister in law April bring into the world a beautiful baby....? It's a surprise. As I celebrate all these big milestones, I also celebrate two women who are great encouragements of me being in ministry and pursuing my MDiv. I celebrate them for different reasons. One for showing me the ropes and the pitfalls, reminding me that I don't have to fall where she has, and one because though she is not called to ministry herself, she is a huge proponent of women in ministry. So Jessie and Corrie... I celebrate your lives for walking with me, and for aiding in my acquiring of courage to follow the call.

Yes indeed life is very full. But we are additionally very celebratory because every life must stop to celebrate those around them and to drink gratefully the life which God continues to breathe into these relationships.

the good things project- day 2: good fruit

2009-04-09T12:53:00.000-07:00

We are in the middle of a week of remembrance. It is holy week. The week where we as a church walk with Jesus through his excruciating death, the mourning of that, and then the celebration that all was not lost when Christ died, instead all was gained. It is in this celebration that we find our true selves dead and brought back to life, to this new life.

For the second day of my good things project I will share with you a great quote I read today from a good friend, Bill Robinson, who is the President of Whitworth University. It is a great reminder to keep pressing forward, that anytime is fruit bearing time.

"Yesterday we observed Palm Sunday -- the "triumphal entry." Sadly, it only took five days for Palm Sunday hosannas to become Good Friday hisses. It only took five days for "Hail him!" to become "Crucify him!" It's interesting to look at what was going on with Jesus during those five days. On a walk from Bethany to Jerusalem, he got hungry. He spotted a fig tree, and that probably made him hungrier. But there was a problem. It wasn't fig season. That shouldn't be a problem for someone who can turn tap water into fine wine. Still, when Jesus found the tree fruitless, he cursed it rather than "fixed"it. The next day the tree was shriveled and dead. We could chalk that up to Jesus being in a bad mood. Who could blame him? He knew what was coming. But maybe he was sending us a message. Maybe he was telling us and his disciples that every season is fruit season. In today's environment, we all have a good excuse not to bear fruit. Sometimes you just want to survive. But Jesus says that bearing fruit is how you survive. It's how you keep from shriveling and dying. Feeding the hungry is not seasonal. Giving more than anyone expects is not seasonal. Waiting around until the season changes doesn't work. We need to bear fruit all the time."

the good things project

2009-04-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

I am embrassed at how long it has been since I posted a blog… wow! A busy whirlwind of a few weeks has kept me away, but after vacations, and a sinus infection, getting back to starting school again and preparing to move… well you see. So I thought this week I would post a few of my favorite “good” things right now… one each day from a variety of genres. I think we as a society need to focus on the goodness in our days…so here goes. You may see food, or a song. Some flowers, or a funny video. A fabulous organization, or just thoughts about my favorite people. We shall see. For today, I will leave you with lyrics to a fabulous song which leaves me with melodies and theology to mull over…It is a manifesto on faith and doubt. It is worth listening to as well. Here it is:

What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road… enjoy!

I made You promises a thousand times

I tried to hear from Heaven

But I talked the whole time

I think I made You too small

I never feared You at all

No If You touched my face would I know You?

Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You Who spoke me into motion?

Where have I even stood But the shore along Your ocean?

Are You fire? Are You fury?

Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out

I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about

How You were mighty to save

Those were only empty words on a page

Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be

The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You Who spoke me into motion?

Where have I even stood But the shore along Your ocean?

Are You fire? Are You fury?

Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?

And a God who gave life "its" name?

What do I know of Holy?

Of the One who the angels praise?

All creation knows Your name On earth and heaven above

What do I know of this love?

What do I know of You Who spoke me into motion?

Where have I even stood But the shore along Your ocean?

Are You fire? Are You fury?

Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy? What do I know of Holy?

the party...

2009-03-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

"The grace of God is something like: Here is your life, you might never have been, but YOU ARE because the party wouldn't have been complete without you!"

...Frederick Buechner...

I wonder what it would be like for us to live believing this deep truth about ourselves everyday...

Improv Everywhere

2009-03-05T14:45:00.000-08:00

So a few months ago I found a genius group of videos on You Tube. It is a group called Improv Everywhere. They do spontaneously planned funny events in public. Everything from synchronized swimming competition in a fountain in Central Park, a sponteaneous musical in real shopping mall (they sing good too for being improv actors!) PLEASE PLEASE check it out. It promises to give you a great laugh. Make sure to check out the No Pants Ride 2009, the musical (not sure the title of it), the Abercrombie gag, and the synchronized swimming. Seriously funny, real life stuff. Let me know what you think and share the LOVE. It will be well worth your time.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=ImprovEverywhere&view=videos

Intentionality...

2009-02-23T19:43:00.000-08:00

Life has gotten crazy… again. It seems like it does every week 6 or 7 of the quarter. And like clockwork, it hit me again this week. What are we doing? Why does life seem so hectic and crazy, out of control? At least out of my control. My sweet husband has been so encouraging in it as he always is, bringing in the big picture like a camera refocusing my vision and reshaping my heart for this great life God has generously given to us. What I am learning is that when the crazies hit, when the control seems to slip out of my grasp, that I don’t need to wait to for it to feel in control again, but I can run with the opportunity of it. It’s a chance to lean in a little further. A chance to advance rather than retreat. A chance to actually grow instead of survive. And more… a chance to trust that my life is in control… in His hands, knowing He does not drop my life, letting is crash to the floor. He holds it. He holds me. And pushes me to lean in a little further. I think this takes intentionality. It means that my life is very much in control, but I have to lean in to listen closely to what is happening in my life to believe it. I am learning that when life feels out of control, I have two choices. Feel out of control, or choose to be intentional by doing the things which give me life. Intentionally planning times of rest and reflection with the Lord. Planning small periods of time to pray with my husband and to check in with him, being intentional about our marriage. Planning walks on the beach and small periods of time outside, because that is good for my soul. Taking fifteen minutes here and there to write because that centers me. So these next few weeks, I pray for times of intentionality in order to lean in closer to listen to my life. Please pray for Dan and I as we are in the midst of the craziness as the quarter winds up.

May you also learn to lean in closer when life gets crazy. We are grateful for those of you who are part of our community. We are grateful for your support, especially in this time.

Life Change

2009-02-17T16:59:00.000-08:00

I am not sure why when you are newly wed and you say to someone 'I have something to tell you" or "I have news for you" there eyes light up and look at me with expectation. Well Life Change doesn't always mean that you are having a kid; but it does mean that something significant is happening in your life. For Shannon and I we have been given a great opportunity. Forest Home (www.foresthome.org) has asked us to come up as staff advisors for the 2009 summer staff and we have gratefully accepted the offer.

As staff advisors we (as a part of a team of 5 total) will be helping in cultivate the spiritual life of the entire Forest Home summer staff. In addition to leading weekly bible studies, counseling staff through different circumstances that might come up and hanging out with fellow staff members, we have been asked to come and help re-create the program for what a staff advisor is. In terms of what we feel called to, this matches almost perfectly. We even get out own little cabin!

There are some implications that come with this decision. Bethel has graciously let Shannon take a leave for the summer and when she gets back her job will be waiting for her along with the different perks that come along with it. I have informed Emmanuel Faith that I will be resigning from my position as of May 28th. While at Forest Home and in the time leading up to the summer I will be networking with neighboring churches and exploring the opportunity of finding a pastoral position that I can return to at the end of the summer. I have encouraged EFCC to look for someone to fill my position; but, if they cannot find a good fit for my replacement and it is still open when we return for the summer that I would be happy to return to my current position (if they want me back :-) ). It is with a heavy heart that we will be stepping away from the group which we consider to be a part of our family; but we feel very strongly that this is what we are called to do. Our current home will not be our home anymore, in May we will be moving our stuff into storage and moving in with my parents until we go to our new cabin home.

What does this mean for my supporters. I will continue to raise support as we step into this next chapter. SMI will continue to keep me on as a contractor to do the ministry that we feel called to. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me either by phone or by e-mail DanVandewarker@gmail.com

We are very excited for this new adventure and where it will lead us. We feel very called to this and in Faith are doing our best to jump ALL IN. All the proper emotions are there; excitement, nervous, curious, hopeful, etc. Please continue to pray with us as we continue to work the specifics for the summer.

If you have any questions please call, email, or respond to the post and we will do our best to get back to you. I am sure that there will be many posts in regards to this upcoming summer.

Sidenote: If you know of anyone that might want to work at Forest Home for the summer, send them our way and we will point them to the right people.

recently...

2009-02-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

I held this precious one and rediscovered the brilliance of new life.

I discovered that my husband turns into a Jr. Higher when given a nerf gun. Who got him that anyway?

I went for a lovely walk in the snow...peaceful and quiet. It made me long for the cold and days to walk in the quiet to contemplate and listen.

Happy Monday. Hope your week is filled with small and yet sacred moments like these.

simply throbbing

2009-01-25T21:49:00.000-08:00

"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music- the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls, and interesting people." -Henry Miller on writing

May your week be filled with the wonder of the goodness of God in the richness of life...

slumdog millionaire

2009-01-21T20:43:00.000-08:00

After much anticipation Dan and I went and saw Slumdog Millionaire last week. From the first time I saw the preview, I had been waiting... and waiting to see it. Finally we heard from friends it was out and it was "really good", "so good", "I loved it", ect. Needless to say, I COULD NOT WAIT. But what I did not know was how unprepared I was to see what I saw in that movie. unprepared to see real people living in trash heaps. unprepared to experience a young woman being so devalued that even she knew she had to exploit her own body or die. unprepared for her to willingly save her life and lose her dignity. unprepared to see people, image bearers of God, lit on fire because they were Muslims. unprepared to feel such pain for the people in the film. unprepared to allow my heart to get involved.

There is something about a cinematic experience that makes prevalent issues so REAL. I know that people kill themselves and others every hour because of religious wars. I know that people live in slums. I know that women are exploited. I know that kids run around brothels not for the sex, but because the brothel is their home. I know that women are sold into forced prostitution every day, hour, minute. And yet even though in my head I know these things happen, something new happened in my heart while watching slumdog. I became attached to the very loveable characters in slumdog to the point that my heart got involved.

After sitting in the movie theater well after the movie ended, weeping on Dan's shoulder, here is what I noticed. Movies have a way to move us, to involve us, to make us not forget. And while it may or may not have been the filmmaker's intent to raise awareness about the injustices going on in India and other parts of the world, it certainly had that impact. God moved my heart in a powerful way through the movie. I left wondering why the movie had been described as good to me. Was it really good? The story is a story of great redemption and love and in that sense I will stand up and declare stories of redemption and love are just that: goodness embodied. But in another way I would describe it as: disturbing, holy disturbing, eye opening, heart wrenching.

In a sense I am glad it was heart wrenching. Awareness and intrigue have a way of bringing the parts of us once left dormant alive and angry. Or alive and broken hearted. Or alive and motivated to action. But nonetheless, ALIVE. And that is just what it did for me. A part of me came alive, knowing I cannot turn my back on these injustices any more. No longer can I just know in my head that people live on trash heaps and leave the knowledge there. No longer can I know that many children are sold in the sex trade and have pity for them. Mere pity does not free them. Mere pity does not heal them or free them.

So my prayer is that my heart stays palpable towards the truths depicted in Slumdog. Because no longer do I want my heart hard towards injustice. I want it soft, like it was as I wept on Dan in the empty movie theater. So this is what I have decided. I am going to work hard to give above and beyond our normal giving so many girls around the world can live free lives, not stuck in lives of forced prostitution. I want to sacrifice to help the cause. I want to help restore the belief that all are created as imaged bearers of God and that is our truest identities. What does that look like? Maybe it means selling the unused dresses in my closest and giving the money to help free these women. Maybe it means giving up coffee and tea from Starbucks for a month so I can give... something no matter how small. Because people's freedom from poverty, and the slavery of prostitution is much more important than my having coffee for that month. Maybe it means teaming up with some of you to compile our resources to give.

But regardless there are people who live in trash heaps. There are people who don't even hope for freedom because it is something they know won't come in their lifetimes. What if we changed that? What if we decided that indeed the deepest truth about each person is that we are made in the image of God and that is enough. Enough for freedom. Enough for the essentials of sanitary living conditions, of food, of education, and laughter, and depth and meaning. So I hope you do go see Slumdog if you haven't already. But more than that my hope is that God moves your heart to not just see a "good" movie, but raises awareness that something MUST be done because God's health and wholeness is much more important that our comfort. And if you have seen it I hope that you don't forget what you saw and that the memory moves you to action. Maybe this time you go to the movies, it won't just be a movie. Maybe it will change you like it changed me. Maybe that's the point. Anyone with me? Anyone moved to brainstorm about how to give more, sacrifice more, for the other, the beloved one who bears the image of God?

For more information about the organization I want to start giving to look here.

Ed- the bowling alley lawyer

2009-01-15T21:58:00.000-08:00

Does anyone remember Ed? It's pretty much the best TV show... EVER! I want to hear from you fellow fans and those of you who hated it... Don't really want to hear it, beacause it was fabulous no matter what you say.

brave on the rocks....

2009-01-05T19:47:00.001-08:00

I once read a fabulous book called Brave on the Rocks by Sabrina Ward Harrison. In it she describes the state of bravery which seperates the adventure of life from the mundane. What classifies the adventurous are those who are willing to walk on the rocks, to take some risks not knowing if the rocks will hurt them or lead them to a new view of life, but knowing all the while that risking the walk for the view is well worth it. When we choose to be brave we find our truer selves.

A few weeks ago I found myself in a situation where I had no choice but to be brave. I was experiencing some tingling in my hands and toes and spine. The nuerologist ordered some tests to be taken because the skin on my neck and back were overly sensitive. The test unfortunately was an MRI. Not only was it an MRI, but they were taking pictures on my brain, neck and spine which meant it took an hour and 40 mintues for them to get all the accurate pictures. I had never had an MRI before, so didn't really know what to expect. Let me just say that laying in a really small confined tube with my head strapped to a table, with horrific loud noises surrounding my body, all the while trying to stay calm so I didn't move any muscles for an hour and 40 minutes was pretty much one of the most unpleasant experiences I have had. Now it is one thing to put yourself in a small confined space (like the time I rode in a dryer...:), but is a whole other thing when you have no real choice in the matter. I told my husband when I got done that I was going to put having MRIs on my list of things that I NEVER WANT TO DO AGAIN! On a side note, I think Hell must be full of MRI machines...The point being, whole time I was in the tube I had to be brave or I would have just fallen apart and prolonged the process. I had to be brave. The MRI was no real adventure for me. There was no real view to see at the end (other than the relief that it was over), but still I had to muster up all the bravery which was in me.

And this is what I noticed. There wasn't much there to be had! You see I hadn't been in a situation which forced bravery to seep out of my pores in a long time. I think that is the secret to being brave. We have to practice it, or it ceases to exist in our lives. When I choose to stay comfortable in my daily life, I don't have to muster up courage. I don't have to be brave on the rocks. But I miss out.

I think the disciples were very brave men. They left everything to be with the Messiah, and in leaving everything they gained everything. There is something to be learned here. The Christian life is one which when lived faithfully is often not comfortable. I think Jesus wants to shake us from our safe lives and lead us onto the rocks where real life happens. Where though our comfort zones may be swiped from us, we are living authentically courageous lives. I think love, true love of another requires us to be brave. I think being concerned about the marginalized takes courage. I think choosing to be generous with our time and gifts and homes and loved ones pushes us to be braver. So I have made it one of my rhythms for the New Year to step out of my comfort zone on a regular basis and just see what happens. I have a hunch that in doing so I will like the braver me and that I will be able to see God clearer because I am truly living the adventure. To be brave. What requires you to be courageous?

*** I got the MRI results back and I just have a small slipped disk in my spine. Nothing major. A huge answer to prayer!

New Blog

2008-12-19T17:20:00.001-08:00

If your like me then you need another blog to follow like you need a new bad habit, or some more homework, or one more bill to pay... but nonetheless here is one to check out. www.remixproject.blogspot.com

Shannon and I are going to be leading a small group this coming year and we are going to be going through a year long devotional called SOLO. I thought that I would broaden the scope of it and see if we could get a larger community doing it. If you are in Escondido we would love to have you over to talk about it, and if you are not in Escondido we would love for you to join our online community here.

Let us know if you have any questions.

We will be keeping this blog up and running so as my wife said "don't stop reading our blog."

Hope the Christmas season is bringing you many nights by the fire...

moments

2008-12-18T20:41:00.000-08:00

Because the end of the year is nearing and I find myself snuggled up in my feathery soft white fleece blanket (whoever invented them... thank you!), and because reflecting back is good for my soul I decided to reflect on a few of my favorite and most important moments of the past year. Over the next few weeks I will be reflecting on other things but for this peaceful night sitting by my Christmas Tree... it shall be the moments.

Moments are a funny thing. They come and they go, often unnoticed. And yet if we slow ourselves down just enough we see the miraculous in the moments. We see dreams and longings fulfilled. We experience love in profound ways. We see that life indeed is deeply good and important and worth all of us. And in the midst of the moments we see our great God stepping around our lives leaving fingerprints and footprints, changing us, breaking us, building us, and creating us anew. That is the miracle of the moment.

Though this past year was deeply celebratory for me as a new wife, as a friend, as a dreamer, and as a grad student, there were often times when I could not see the miraculous in the mundane. I longed for more and found myself disappointed, disillusioned, and distraught over my place in life. And yet as I reflect back on the year it was the small moments I experienced which deepened my faith, which built my relationships, which challenged and encouraged to see the goodness, and to celebrate the small.

I think of a phone conversation with my sweet college friend Corrie which seemingly brought a piece of my heart back to life. It was a deep conversation, one which was a continuation of an ongoing discussion we were having about empowering women in ministry, and about deep friendships, and the longing we have to really live... Alive and wide awake. And it was in the midst of this conversation that we both decided we needed to write more. Corrie Ann and I have seemingly parallel lives. Whenever something happens to her, it also happens to me, or vice versa. God had been laying this dream on our hearts again to write. It was this moment on my drive from San Diego to Escondido that this dream which had been dormant for some time was brought back alive. This moment in the words and phrases and encouragement of my sweet friend, God continued weaving this dream of being a writer back into my life, and for that moment I am deeply grateful.

I think of the night I was a little furious at my sweet husband. I was convinced that whatever we were fighting about was obviously his fault and I had nothing to do with what had gone wrong. I spent the entire ride home from school explaining to him how I was right and he was wrong. As we pulled into our parking space late into the night, his patient heart and poignant words pierced my heart and the truth came to light. Nope... I was indeed very wrong about the fight and more starkly was wrong in how I treated him in my anger. My face immediately was flushed, wishing I could have taken every single word I said to him back. I was convinced I would be sleeping on the couch that night. And yet as we walked up the stairs to our apartment, he took me in his arms and spoke words of love and commitment to me. It was in that moment that I experienced forgiveness like never before. It was in that moment that God intertwined our hearts just a little tighter, and it was in that moment that I experienced the unconditional love of my tenderhearted husband.

I think of the weekend we spent with my parents on Balboa Island this summer in a very charming farmhouse. Light blue with an outside balcony for morning coffee sitting and a red door. Life was stressful this past summer... papers, reading for school, work, reading for school, a jam packed calendar and more reading for school. One day we were on the island we rented bikes and rode the ferry across to Newport Beach. As I rode I fell more and more in love with the day, the moment. The sea breeze blowing in my face, watching house after house getting more to die for. And as we rode and rode and rode it was as if the stress of the summer dissipated and all I could do was ride and enjoy, enjoy and ride. It was in that moment that I was reminded of the importance of play. I need play in my life and I don't take hardly enough time to do so and yet God was whispering to me in that bike ride that I was not just to slave away at life, but that it was to be enjoyed.

I think of the day I got the phone call that my sweet cousin had a beautiful baby girl and the day that my dear friend Melanie was finally granted adoption of her little boy from Russia. Both Melanie and Courtney have been close to me, and yet in different ways. It was through these babies and the faith both their mom's have held in their deeply providing God that I saw God work so tangibly. In hearing about both their journeys, my faith has been deepened in God's amazing capacity to be in the little details. And tonight as I placed Melanie's son Ivan's picture on my fridge I was reminded of the deeply important moments God spent with me as I prayed for these two families. These moments praying over these children and these wonderful mamas deepened my faith, and opened my eyes to many miracles in the seemingly mundane.

And so I hope as this year draws to a close I hope that you too can take time to reflect on where God showed up in your moments and days.

What is a moment you are deeply grateful for this year?

Check This Out

2008-12-12T14:28:00.001-08:00

I thought I would share this thought provoking video with you all. It kind of put a knot in my stomach... let me know what you think.

New Life

2008-12-12T12:01:00.000-08:00

“Look I am going to put breath into you and make you live again…I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.” Ezekiel 37:5-6

In Ezekiel 37 the people of Israel are worn out, tired…just plain done. Their hope of a fuller life, the life God had promised them is all but a flicker in some distant memory and they have become a valley of dried up bones. The life which once stirred them to action, which once helped them persevere through trouble, which once energized them to be the people God had called them to be is all but gone. Their present state: hopeless and lifeless.

And it is into this deadness that God breathes new life. He looks beyond their present state and sees what could be. Not only that but the possessor of life Himself (John 1:4) creates what could be into what is. He creates a new reality fort the people of Israel. He brings them back to life. He breathes new hope into their hopelessness and new life into their lifeless bodies.

The wonderful new is that this reality of new life was not just for the people of Israel. Part of the marvel of this Christmas season, is that this new life is ours as well. What is it that this season you need to see God breathe new life into? Is it a broken heart? A broken relationship? A tired and discouraged soul? Jesus said that He has come to us to give us life to the full (John 10:10). You see this was the very reason He came. To bring us back to life. To breathe His life into our broken hearts, broken spirits, and broken lives that we may experience the hope of wholeness in Him. As we experience new life this season may we be beacons of hope and life to those around us in need of the breath of God.

Happy Season

2008-12-11T18:36:00.000-08:00

Wishing you lots of celebrating the goodness of the rhythms of God's grace in this season!

two prayers

2008-12-01T17:20:00.000-08:00

In the frazzle of finals week and the beginning of the advent season, two prayers have been resonating in my soul. I don't pray as often as I would like to, or in the ways I long to, but somehow I am myself, at the foot of our good God, accepting me as I am. The first prayer goes something like: Change who I am in light of who you are. I first prayed this 10 weeks ago when I had just begun my Theology 1 class. And now again, it remains. I am frail, and in need of an overhaul. God is glorious and creative and good, and I need more of Him in my life. God change who I am in light of who you are.

And with the beginning of the season of advent starting my second prayer: God slow me down enough to see you and hear you. There is much soul searching and crafting which is waiting to happen, needing to happen so I need the slowness and the time set aside to listen. While Christmas will be a great celebration, part of my celebration will be slowing down and remembering, slowing down and listening, and slowing down and receiving the pure Joy of Emmanuel God with us... now and forever!

foreign countries, fortune cookies, and toilet paper rolls

2008-11-23T22:43:00.000-08:00

So a few months ago Dan and I were driving listening to the radio. We began to get quite mesmerized when a man came on claiming to be able to simplify our lives and give us more time for the things which really mattered to us in life. Now if you know any grad students or seminarians, one thing you know about them is there is never enough time in the day to get what needs to get done, done... let alone the things we wish we had time for. Enter man on radio with promise to simplify our lives and create more time in life for the mattering things. He began to talk like it was so easy, and though I was skeptical, I was intrigued. His solution: hire someone in the Philippines to be your virtual assistant for $2 a day. NO JOKE! I am not kidding, that was his solution. Now, whether this is ethical or not, this is what he was promoting on American pop radio (with Ryan Seacrest, no doubt!)

Fast forward to last night. 11 pm. My wonderfully compassionate husband, begins making a list of all the things he needs to get done this week which includes things like: write 5 (million) papers, read 3 (thousand) books, prepare a sermon, go to class, save the world, eat, sleep with one eye open and one eye closed... you get the gist. Finals are next week and it is crunch time. After glancing over at his nicely labeled flow chart of his week and commenting something sentimental about how I am here for him in it... lalala... He looks at me and says, "I think I need to hire someone from the Philippines!" I about fell over laughing from delirium myself, and the fact that the comment came out of left field... but was just right.

We have this habit when we are out to eat that we ask each other random questions we would like to know and probably wouldn't ask anyone else. This same night we were out for a quick bite to eat (no time to cook right now!) and Dan continued our on going question game. His question to me: What is one quality about me that you hope doesn't get passed on to our kids. (Now before you get all excited... the kids are still hypothetical, a thought, not reality...yet.) After much thinking I shared mine with him and cringed to hear what he had to say as he answered the question as well. It wasn't so bad for either of us and we laughed about the often unpleasant intricacies which protrude in our personalities. At the restaurant we were at, instead of serving the complimentary after dinner mint, they serve fortune cookies. Dan opens his and to his chagrin, it reads: Do not dwell on differences with a loved one. Try a compromise...We laughed at each other and sheer irony of the timing of it.

Tonight I had one last Dan moment, I wanted to share. My husband has this habit of not changing the toilet paper roll in the bathroom when the toilet paper runs out. His habit first began shortly after we were married when the holder for the toilet paper would break every time that he would try to change it. Frustration and history finally got the best of him, and he just gave up changing it. I would walk into the bathroom to an empty roll of toilet paper on the holder, and a full roll sitting on the sink, in a waiting pattern. We have since moved and the toilet paper holder does not fall apart when it is changed, and yet though it has been 5 months, my husband still refuses to change the toilet paper roll. So tonight I walked into the bathroom, to find that yet again, the roll was empty. Sighing, I went to grab it and found to my surprise, something was written in red pen on the roll it read: See other side. I turned it over to read a love note from my beloved... well sort of. The other side read: I love you my beautiful wife who poops. Thanks for loving me even when I forget to change the toilet paper roll. Romantic? Maybe a little. Funny? yes definitely. My husband? 100%. Dan I love your quirks and your idiosyncrasies. Thanks for sharing this crazy life with me.

What if...

2008-11-13T21:46:00.001-08:00

As the holiday season is fast approaching, I have noticed a stirring of the Holy Spirit in my heart and in the hearts of people around me. People are turning, wondering what it would be like if we actually took Christmas seriously. What would happen if we returned to the true heart of Christmas, God moving into our neighborhoods and lives and rearranging them and making them stretch and grow, showing us what we really are capable of as humans and how we truly can love and forgive because He came and loved and forgave. You see all over the country churches and individuals are returning to heart of what we may have once lost sight of. They are returning to heart of Christmas, and while it has been turned into a materialist's dream, so many of us have gotten caught up in the hustle and bustle too. We forget to reflect on Christ's dwelling among us and we forget to give... to give the gifts which truly mean something. The gifts of our time, and the gifts of hearts which truly celebrate the birth of our Lord. The gift of sacrifice for others and the gifts which invest into the hearts of those we love not just their closets.

Now I am not talking about giving up giving material gifts, I am still in favor of celebrating Christmas this way. What I am saying though is what if we were more conscientious about what we bought and the impact the gift would have on the one receiving it. What if we were creative and didn't add to the piles of stuff in our houses, but rather bought gifts which would build relationships, gifts which make us think about the world, and gifts which would inspire. Maybe it's a book you know a friend or sister would love. Maybe it's a nice cup of tea your tea loving friend would enjoy. Maybe it's an afternoon of making cookies with your nephews. Whatever it is, may we be thoughtful about our gift giving this year so as to make room in our hearts for the true meaning of Christmas.

I mean just think if we didn't get caught in the hustle and bustle of the crowds, how much more time and room in our lives we could make to give the gift of our presence, finances and time to those we know really need it this Christmas. What if we looked to the world and saw the millions of people who don't have clean drinking water and did something about it? What if this Christmas we met the need of a family whose kids wouldn't even get one present because of the economic downfall? What if we started listening to the voices of those who are hurting because the holidays always bring up the emotions of loss and we gave them an afternoon of game playing, or coffee drinking, or just a walk to listen to their pain? What if we became present to those closest to us this Christmas because God brought himself near to us? Think about it. Maybe this movement of the Holy Spirit is a wave of change in our nation and world to rethink and return to the true meaning of Christmas... if that is the case then.. let it be so!

Done...

2008-11-06T22:21:00.000-08:00

Lately I have felt so fried from life. Done. I feel done for now. Ready for a break. In need of refreshment. I have found this new rhythm of celebrating each day, celebrating the rhythms of God's grace as it shows up in my days, and yet it feels like there is not enough time for the things I long for, the celebrations which must happen. Life takes so much time... I am talking about the keep the clock working things in life... the laundry, the bills, the errands... While I am so grateful for money to pay the bills with, a washer and dryer in my own apartment, ect. I feel like what I need right now is more space in which life giving activities have room to butt in and take up residence in my days. There are cards of thanksgiving to be written to amazing women in my life, pumpkin bread which I long to make and give away, long conversations with my love, solitude to be had, deep prayers to be prayed and much more celebrating to be done. This is what I wish my life consisted more of, and yet LIFE things have taken over. How do I create more space in life for this life which is teeming to take over? How do I create more room for my Lord to refresh me, to bring what I long for? Right now more questions than answers are swirling around me, but the question is always the best place to start. Any thoughts about the pridiciment I find myself in? I am sure I am not the only one who feels this tension. Has anyone figured out the balance of LIFE stuff and that which is life giving?

Art for the seasons...

2008-11-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

In my longing to create more, I decided to post some of my paintings of years past. Maybe for posterity sake, maybe because they remind me that I do love to express myself this way, when I am not so exhausted from life. (See post above...) So be looking in the next few days for paintings of mine from previous seasons of life. Words which still remain true, but are lived differently now that I am here, in this season. Enjoy!

"Listen to the music for it plays all around you... pick up your feet to join the dance. Listen for them you'll find how the steps go..." SCM 2006

Typical

2008-10-31T09:47:00.001-07:00

I thought I would share with you guys what a typical Saturday morning looks like in the home of the Vandewarker's. Especially for the month of November.

Persecuted Church

2008-10-30T11:15:00.000-07:00

In my Hebrews to Revelation class this week we were talking about the book of 1 Peter. It is a book that talks about persevering through suffering for the name of Christ. We watched a video of the persecuted church and then our class took time to pray for the people. It was amazing to see these peoples faith. In the midst of hell they ask for our prayers, not for their safety, but that God's name would continue to be shared. They asked for prayer that their attackers would come to know Christ. What a witness!
Today I am substituting (well I am writing a blog while they work...like a true substitute) for one of my old teachers at Orange Glen. As i sit here an watch the students draw pictures of our skeleton bones, they sit in a air conditioned room (yes we are still running our air conditioning) most of them are wearing new clothes, they haven't missed a meal yet today, and they are in school. All of these things so many people around the world are without. Specificaly some of them are without these things because they proffess to be Christ followers like you and I.
As I watched the video in class I wondered to myself "how would I live my life differently if I kept this video on the forefront of my mind?" if I watched these videos in the morning before I started my day how would if change my daily interactions?

Would I be more bold in my times spent with unbelievers?

Would I spend my money differently? Would I be more generous?

Would I be more patient?

Would I pray for them more often?

Would I spend my time differently?

Would I talk to different people?

I remember at my church in Colorado Springs we had some guest speakers come in. They were brand new into the country of America. They were so shocked that it isn't illegal for us to witness and they didn't see anyone witnessing. They spent their time here passing out tracks at a mosque becuase at the very worst they would be deported back to their country where they would continue to spread the name of Christ.

I posted a video similar to the one I watched in class. The point isn't to be guilted. The point is to respond in a way that honors Christ. Often times I don't want to watch these because they make me feel helpless because I can't do anything for these people who are suffering.

But remember all these people want is for us to pray for them...

Come to Seminary

2008-10-28T19:30:00.001-07:00

Which would you say is more accurate? Maybe share a little as to why you think so.

God lives in us

or

We live in God

This came up in tonight's class and it sparked my mind a little as I heard someone discuss "us living in God."

Tozer in his book "The Knowledge of the Holy" says this "Because God's nature is infinite, everything which flows out of its infinite too. The Christian possesses God's own life and shares in his infinitude with him. In God there is life enough for all and time enough to enjoy it."

What do you think?

A Rare Find

2008-10-21T21:50:00.001-07:00

Worst Best Man Ever @ Yahoo! Video

Fall, Fall...

2008-10-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

If you know me, you know that I LOVE FALL.... I reminisce about fall in Washington, I wear long sleeves way before it is time (here in San Diego) hoping the weather will catch up to my wardrobe, I search the internet for pictures of leaves changing colors, and I love celebrating the season through pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin bread, pumpkin spice candles, ect.

My lovely mother decorates her house for the seasons. It is a great way for the inside of her house to change as the outside changes with it. While right now, that is a little bit out of my reach, I have started small with FALL. We will see where winter and spring take us in terms of decorating, but I absolutely love my cheap fall finds.

Gourds- $3 at Vons

Pumpkin Spice Candle- $7 World Market

Fall Wreath- Pictured here on our door (my favorite fall find)- $15 World Market

Dan has even mentioned to me multiple times how much he loves our wreath. Yes, it makes it a little more festive in the mundane of our weather changing between 70 and 80 degrees in the "fall."

I hope you are celebrating this time of year as much as I am. And if you aren't I hope you reinvent your fall and find new ways to celebrate the change of seasons!

The Dog and The Beach

2008-10-19T20:13:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while Shan and I get to our dog to the beach. It is always a great time and I always leave wishing I could do it more often. For me it is one of those things that allows me to escape from the routine of life and not worry about homework, bills, work etc. It is cheap too. A couple of bucks for parking and I am set.
I am always curious to see how he responds to other dogs at the beach. Thankfully he is twice the size as most dogs so they tend to leave him alone. Anyway, here are some pictures from our last beach trip.

Strengths Finder

2008-10-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

As a part of my internship class I had to take a "strengths finder" test. What the test does is it identifies 5 strengths out of 34 possibilities. It was an interesting test. The whole idea is that in realizing your strengths you are able to make the needed adjustments in your life to operate in your "sweet spot." I would love to hear from you and see what you agree with, disagree with, shocked by, etc. It isn't a "Christian" test so some of the wording is a bit new age-ish.

If you are curious to know what yours are the best way is to go to Barnes and Noble or to Amazon and buy the book pictured above and then it will give you a code to go and take the test.

Belief

If you possess a strong Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring. These values vary from one person to another, but ordinarily your Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics—both in yourself and others. These core values affect your behavior in many ways. They give your life meaning and satisfaction; in your view, success is more than money and prestige. They provide you with direction, guiding you through the temptations and distractions of life toward a consistent set of priorities. This consistency is the foundation for all your relationships. Your friends call you dependable. “I know where you stand,” they say. Your Belief makes you easy to trust. It also demands that you find work that meshes with your values. Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you. And guided by your Belief theme it will matter only if it gives you a chance to live out your values.

Individualization

Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. Instead, you focus on the differences between individuals. You instinctively observe each person’s style, each person’s motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships. You hear the one-of-a-kind stories in each person’s life. This theme explains why you pick your friends just the right birthday gift, why you know that one person prefers praise in public and another detests it, and why you tailor your teaching style to accommodate one person’s need to be shown and another’s desire to “figure it out as I go.” Because you are such a keen observer of other people’s strengths, you can draw out the best in each person. This Individualization theme also helps you build productive teams. While some search around for the perfect team “structure” or “process,” you know instinctively that the secret to great teams is casting by individual strengths so that everyone can do a lot of what they do well.

Adaptability

You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.

Arranger
You are a conductor. When faced with a complex situation involving many factors, you enjoy managing all of the variables, aligning and realigning them until you are sure you have arranged them in the most productive configuration possible. In your mind there is nothing special about what you are doing. You are simply trying to figure out the best way to get things done. But others, lacking this theme, will be in awe of your ability. “How can you keep so many things in your head at once?” they will ask. “How can you stay so flexible, so willing to shelve well-laid plans in favor of some brand-new configuration that has just occurred to you?” But you cannot imagine behaving in any other way. You are a shining example of effective flexibility, whether you are changing travel schedules at the last minute because a better fare has popped up or mulling over just the right combination of people and resources to accomplish a new project. From the mundane to the complex, you are always looking for the perfect configuration. Of course, you are at your best in dynamic situations. Confronted with the unexpected, some complain that plans devised with such care cannot be changed, while others take refuge in the existing rules or procedures. You don’t do either. Instead, you jump into the confusion, devising new options, hunting for new paths of least resistance, and figuring out new partnerships—because, after all, there might just be a better way.

Connectedness

Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.

Today I'm Celebrating....

2008-10-08T14:15:00.001-07:00

A glorious morning at the beach with my fabulous husband. Encinitas was absolutely gorgeous today. Water trickled down the vegetation hanging off the cliffs, ensuring the plants stayed greener longer. Mist left the beach in a mysterious haze as we walked and talked and tried not to step on bees. The rocks looked extra big today and when we got to the part where you can't go any further, the tree's roots had grown over the edge and was making it's way towards the water, clamouring in its thirst. I absolutely loved it.

And while it is October and is supposed to be getting crisp outside, instead I was getting sun burnt as I walked. I miss fall so much this time of year when Southern California seems for the only time behind the times from everywhere else. But in this new discipline of celebrating God has been teaching me about, I celebrated our beautiful walk and the thrill of having a love to walk on the beach with.

I will continue to celebrate this day, maybe bringing an illusion of fall to our little condo with a fall wreath for our front door.

A Blessing and A Curse

2008-10-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

1Kings 18: 27 At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened."

This week Pastor Dennis read this passage in church and a thought occurred to me about humor. I have learned both through pleasant and unpleasant experiences that humor is a tool that I use in everyday life to connect with people. To bridge nervous moments and awkward pauses. To break the ice before I give a talk at The Gathering, so that people feel connected to what I am saying and connected as a community to each other through the use of laughter.

But it is is not with out its shortcomings...

If you are close enough to me to be reading this then I am sure at one point you have either been offended by my humor or at least thought to yourself at one point "that wasn't funny" or "not sure where he was going with that." Sometimes it back fires and instead of bridging a gap it creates a much larger one...

The point being: IT WORKED!

This week I passed my bus test. Prior to taking my test I have heard nightmare stories of cold hearted examiners, so as I drove to the testing site I prayed that God would give me someone who I am at least able to connect with so that in my mistakes they are able to find humor and see my effort in the midst of my shortcomings.

One highlight off all this is that I discovered the loud speaker on the bus. I am not sure why the bus drivers don't use that more often. I am certainly going to enjoy it!

Thanks to everyone who encouraged and prayed for me as I took this test (both before and after).

Thanks to everyone who embraces me in the midst of timely and untimely humor.

I will not take my love away

2008-10-02T18:06:00.001-07:00

I frist heard this song at my dear friend Corrie's wedding, sang acoustic, a tear jerker for sure. Then recently I heard it again on my Pandora. It was such a refreshment for me. I came home and Dan and I sat on the couch listening to it together, in silence, just the two of us. It made me cry again because it touched the core of me. Titled "I will not take my love away" sang by Matt Wertz it is seemingly appropriate for the uncertainty our country is facing. I pray it brings you peace today.

I will not take my love away
When praises cease and seasons change
While the world turns the other way
I will not take my love away
I will not leave you all alone
When striving leads you far from home
And there's no yield for what you've sown
I will not leave you all alone
I will give you what you need
In plenty or in poverty
Forever, always, look to me
And I will give you what you need
I will not take my love away

A little short of the top 10

2008-10-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Dan and I began talking about the books which have shaped who we are the most today. I wanted to share a little of the love with you all. I hope you are as impacted by these books as I have been (if you decide to take me up on any of the titles, and I hope you do.) I have no idea if I will make it to 10 of them, but they are so good, they must account for at least that many!

The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard

In short, this book made my faith come alive like no other book has (short of the bible.) Dallas' explanation of the Kingdom of God among us is unreal. He forms into words what my heart had been longing to hear for so long: that following Jesus is something that is not a far off concept but it can be lived out today, where I am, in God's Kingdom. A must read for all Christians or curious seekers.
Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist

This is one book which has resonated with me every day since I first picked it up. If you have not read it. Walk, run, bike, or drive to the nearest bookstore and buy it right away! Shauna speaks to what our society needs today: a celebratory life. She is not at all naive to the fact that there are hard things we go through, but she calls for a life which looks for the moments of redemption in the midst of the pain. Her writing is beautiful and God has used it in a remarkable way in my life! Maybe I'll write more about it at some point on here.

Spilling Open: the Art of Becoming Yourself by Sabrina Ward Harrison

Sabrina creates the most beautiful multi-media art. Reading her journals for me was like finding a piece of home in the midst of my own journey of becoming who I have been created to be. Her words continue to resonate with me now six years after I found her. She has had four of her art journals published. AMAZING!

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving

This book (which is not short) had me mesmerized. I immediately was struck by the main character who is a very small boy who loves others regardless of how they treat him, creatively lives out his existence in a small town private residential school, and gets into all sorts of mischief along the way. I was laughing out loud and in the next paragraph heartbroken for the characters. An amazing novel, if you like to read novels.

Life of the Beloved by Henri J.M. Nouwen

This book was recommended to me in college by several professors and mentors and it was a perfect time to read it. It challenged me to identify myself with who I am, the Beloved of Christ. I read it and re-read it probably four different times that year. I read it again after graduating and it continued to challenge me in who I identify myself with. This is my favorite of Henri J. M. Nouwen's books.

Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

I love getting immersed in a good novel. Especially good southern novels. This one did just that for me. It is the story of intertwining life stories and redemption in the midst of abandonment. Just read it for yourself. It is fabulous! (I think there is a movie of it coming out soon. We'll see if it is as good as the book.)

Have any of you read any of these? What did you think? What are some of your life shaping books?

Risk

2008-10-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

An interesting phenomenon happens when we are hurt by those we love the most. Like turtles, we creep the deepest parts of us deeper into our shells swearing that the risk of revealing ourselves was too risky, a confirmation of our fears all along. That to love and to risk being loved will hurt. And anyone who has lived, oh like a day, will at some point experience this kind of hurt which causes us to want to tie our deep parts with twine and hide all the knives in sight so no one can seek to come open us up again. This is what we feel, and yet anyone who has made this venture has also experienced the additional pain experienced from hiding ourselves away, out of reach of others.

You see that's the thing about risk. It's risky. We don't know the outcome of opening ourselves up to others, how we will be perceived. If we will be loved or rejected. The ironic thing about opening up ourselves is that it is in the very moment that we feel hurt and tempted to put ourselves away for good, is the very moment we stop living fully. To live fully means to risk. It means risking loving another and sometimes even scarier... being loved by another. But you see we were meant to experience this kind of love deep in our souls and this kind of love can only happen when risk is taken.

I began thinking about risking opening up ourselves to others after a conversation I had with Dan today. I had been mulling over a somewhat distant relationship of mine for some days now, slowly growing more and more discontent with where it was at. Over the course of my mulling, I had started feeling very insecure... like the turtle wanting to hide my heart deep inside so no one else, ever could hurt me! But a miraculous thing happened. In opening myself up to another I saw the great reward of risking showing my heart. To be loved and accepted by the one person who knows me the best, motivated me that the risk is indeed worth it. To know others and be known by others are at the core of our deepest needs and that takes risk. But I would rather risk and be hurt by some than miss out on the great pleasure of knowing and being known by those closest to me. So I will keep risking and pressing on... even if some days I feel like the turtle.

What is scariest about risking to love others for you?

The call to create

2008-09-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

I have long been an art enthusiast. It is still questionable whether or not I came out of the womb, paintbrush in hand, or foot. And as I grew up my love for all things creative just grew and grew. First I loved to color, to add beauty and texture to elephants or little girls with bows in their hair. Then I was introduced to the world of dance. I loved the beauty which could be created through body movements and the spacial movements of people dancing in sync. Then I was introduced to the world of writing and I began to devour any good literature I could get my hand on and wondered if someday I would write something that others would be inspired by just as I was by my favorite authors. In high school I discovered the fine art of photography and fell in love with it. And then I began to put it all together. My painting, photography, writing, ect. For years of college it was what got me through. It was what inspired me to look beyond painful experiences and memories and fight for the healing my heart told me was already mine. And then it all stopped for awhile. I "got busy." I "didn't have the energy to create anymore." I "didn't think it would amount to anything." Despite the encouragement from those who are closest to the musings of my heart, I couldn't or wouldn't create for myself. These past two years have been a series of creations (when they actually happened) for others. To be honest I wasn't totally sold on the fact that they were any good or they actually spoke to people. And so I stopped. I stopped creating because I had more responsible things to do, like keep my car in working condition and get health insurance. I stopped because I wasn't being inspired anymore, or didn't let myself be inspired anymore. But lately I have come to the place in my heart where it is time again. Time to write, time to paint, time to create and inspire, if only it's to inspire the musings of my own heart to keep working themselves through. And so I have wondered, in my absence of creating, why it is that we create art whatever medium it comes in. I have been mulling this over and this is what I have come to: That in creating we tell of worlds not yet seen and of worlds seen but in different ways. We create art to inspire people that what we see is not everything and that we can create with our own everyday genius things which draw us back to the way things were before the fall of creation and draw us back to the creator Himself. Art in it's various forms helps us to imagine what could be and what is and has been in new ways. Art is not to be used and appreciated only by the privileged, but it is also for the poor, to empower them to imagine a different world and enable them to create that world. So if you are a creator like me, please create. Create more space in your busy responsible lives to bring art into everyday existence so that we may see more clearer the world that beckons us to dream eternity into today.

2nd Day of Class

2008-09-16T20:10:00.000-07:00

My wife is incredible. As we start out our theology class together (which is going to push me academically like no other) she prayed this to our Saviror God. “…change who we are in light of who you are.” What a great prayer, that as we learn more about God, that as we dive into his Truth and learn to apply it to our lives that we would grow not because of our gained knowledge of "how to" or that we have memorized our three point outline that we recieve in church on a sunday morning; rather our change is related to how we come to know who God is.

The other highlight of my night (a far second from the shared wisdom of my wife) was this quote about seminary from my theology teacher.

“Seminary education is about soul crafting.” -Scorgie

It hit me right in my gut as I thought about how many times my mindset is to just get through my classes. My prayer is that I would let this quarter change who I am from my knowledge of God and that I would allow God to shape my soul through what I learn in seminary.

Thank you for you investment into our lives, even in the time you spent reading this blog, we are so blessed that you would take the time to join me on this venture.

1st day of class

2008-09-15T17:06:00.001-07:00

As I sit in my first class of five that I will be taking this quarter. I find myself at times working through the know in my stomach when I think about the next two weeks. But I find joy in the thought of setting aside this time to prepare myself as a pastor, husband and lord willing a future father (not hinting or implying at anything- purely thinking about the future) for the future that is ahead.

As we started class the question handed to me was "If God were to bless you what kind of ministry would you be doing in 10 years?" My answer was that I hope to be a pastor at a small church (0-500) and that Shannon and I would be starting a ministry counseling pastors and their families. My heart leaps out of my chest as I say those words aloud.

Please join us in praying as we start this quarter for the future ahead of us.

To the brim...

2008-09-12T17:10:00.000-07:00

Reconciling abundance with the chaos of what is my life right now has proved to be quite the adventure. For years now I have held onto this promise of the abundant life. Life to the brim... Life in all it's fullest forms. And yet at times my life seems anything but... It feels full yes. It feels to the brim... yes. But not with what I expect to be coming from the Abundant Life. When I think of abundance I think thrilling life. Life which is fresh and easy. Life which makes me crack up and brings breath to my soul. Life which creates. While at times I see this in my life, at the moment it feels more chaotic than abundant. But what I am coming to see is that maybe my definition for the abundant life is about 10 degrees in the wrong direction. The abundance I have been looking for is an external abundance. It is about my circumstances. It is about the externals. And yet I am coming to find that just possibly Jesus wasn't merely speaking of circumstances or externals when he proclaimed... "I have come to give you life to the full" (John 10:10) . The abundance I long for, am looking for I believe begins in the heart. It is a relational abundance. Knowing that in all and every circumstance Christ will bring HIS fullness in HIS time. It begins with experiencing his full presence in our lives... which begins deep in the soul and grows and develops until it permeates all our circumstances. I was talking with a dear friend today about a heartwrenching situation she is facing and she said "you know I was never promised that this process would be easy. But I was promised that I wouldn't be alone in it."

I think this is what is at the heart of the abundant life. The abundant life is not abundant because it is easy. It is not abundant because it never has any heartache or pain or chaos. It is abundant because Christ promises to be with us in the midst of it. I am also coming to find that there is a level of discipline which comes with the abundant life. Because it is not about the externals all the time, we must develop the discipline to have eyes to see God working and bringing his fullness and life into the small corners of our existence. It's about searching for the redemption when it seems no where to be found. I have a hunch that in that discipline of searching for God's fingerprints that is where we will find Life and Life in it's fullest form!

Back In The Day

2008-09-11T14:44:00.000-07:00

"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which thy should break, so be it."
CS Lewis, The Four Loves

As I was looking at my facebook page I came across this quote. My gut tightened as I thought about this again now in a totally different life stage from when I put this quote on my page.

Before Shannon and I had even met each other I used to always go back to this quote. The reason was that people all around me were not even giving dating a chance because to make themselves vulnerable to another person was too much. I loved (past tense) this quote because it reminded me that to love someone, or to began the journey of loving someone (dating) involves a tremendous amount of risk and heartache; however, to love someone is to reflect God. To put yourself out there for another human being is to reflect the image of God that we were made in. I don't think that Lewis meant for this to be about dating, but it was for me. My application was to go out on dates and meet new people. All relationships are always going to be challenging and involve pain (the cost of being human), but they also will bring life to us when we learn how to love people in the way that Lewis describes.

Now that I am married this quote is a little more on the scary side for me. I love Shannon so much to think about sufferings being associated within our marriage is terrifying to me. The reality is that we are going to have them; some big, some small, some life altering, and some just simply annoying. Now my application will be to do as the rest of the quote says, to "accept them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour...". I don't think that there is anything one can really do to prepare for hard times, other then to be constantly handing your day over to Christ through committed time with Him (perhaps my first needed step). I thought about deleting this quote from my page, but instead I will just share my thoughts as I continue to process it.

It is amazing how much your life circumstances change the way you perceive what it is you are reading.

What do you think about when you read this quote?
"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which thy should break, so be it."

Now... and... then

2008-08-28T18:38:00.001-07:00

I feel like I am in a weird season of life. It is a season of preparation. Being in seminary I am being prepared to go into ministry, counseling ministry to be precise. I like being prepared, learning, and growing... it's just it's another 3 full years of it (with one year down.) Now, I am certainly not wishing that it took less time, though my bank account probably does! I am content with having 3 more years to prepare to counsel people, in fact I feel like I will be a very young therapist when I do begin, it's just... I don't know what it is. I think it is feeling like the preparation is going slow. I have faith that I am being developed into the person My God desires me to be, but this process is slow. Sometimes I wish the process would go faster, but instead God has put me in a slow cooker and turned it on low. God gives me glimpses every once in awhile of the opportunities He is putting in front of me to grow and develop, but for the most part, I feel like I am on cruise control. You see I thrive off of people's lives changing, developing, growing. I also thrive off of the internal musings I sense of God shaping me, shaping my heart. Yet, pieces of my heart feel dormant, on hold. What is there to do when this happens? Any thoughts? I long to be content in this place, this waiting room, yet I don't know if there is more I should be doing to evoke the growth, the awe of the world, the sensing of God's fingerprints over each part of my life.

The beautiful Northwest

2008-08-23T13:12:00.000-07:00

Dan and I just got back from our trek to Washington to see my family. I am always reminded when I am up there how beautiful the Northwest really is. Part of what I've loved about our vacations this summer is how much time we have gotten to spend outside, and the Northwest is a prefect place to do it.

Our favorite adventure while there was a 14 mile bike ride we took through parts of Montana and Idaho. It was... an adventure. The ride is on an old railroad track trail... not your typical bike ride. The first 1.7 miles are in a pitch black tunnel with only small head lamps on our bike lighting the way. It was definately a lesson in trusting the small bit of light which was illuminating only what was in front of you. An anology of faith it seemed. (Dan and my dad, both of whom preach a bit loved it and both commented about how thwy were going to use the experience in a sermon some day.) I was just glad to get through it and tried to enjoy it while I was half freaked out! The cool thing was that you could see the light at the end (of the tunnel... if you will) from the very beginning. It did not illuminate the tunnel (it was still very dark) but you could see that there was an end to it.

We also rode over several tressels (train bridges.) It was awesome to look down and see how far down you would ride and then look back up and see how far you had come.

All in all it was a great trip to see my siblings and parents. Enjoy the pictures. Some are of Lake Coeur d'Alene... absolutely refreshing to swim in and beautiful to look at. Dan and I have decided it would be wonderful if the Lord let us live by some body of water all the time (either the ocean or the lake.) There is so something that brings my heart alive when I am around and in water.

A dlightful weekend...

2008-08-23T12:48:00.000-07:00

"What has been your favorite memory from the summer?" Over breakfast one morning Dan and I began reminiscing about the summer. We have been soo blessed to have travelled so much this summer: May (trip to Dana Point...twice) June (Dan went to New York City and we also went to Palm Desert with the Vande-clan) July (long trip to Dana Point and ....which I will get to in a sec) and August (trip to Washington...look for a future blog with pictures from that trip), but the one memory we both said was our favorite was our three days we spent on Balboa Island (which we did in July.) My dad was preaching at a church in Santa Monica and the pastor has a place on the Island. In exchange for one Sunday morning sermon my parents got to stay for a week on the Island in an "old" farmhouse. I say "old" because nothing on the Island is very old! So Dan and I snuck away one Saturday evening and stayed in the quaint farmhouse for 3 days.

It was absolutely delightful. The island is straight out of a movie. Each house is cuter than the last (and more expensive:) Dan kept pointing out that my favorite houses were always the BIGGEST houses. I think this made him a little nervous for our bank account in the future, but I asssured him I would take any one, even if it was small. This did not console him because any house on the Island was expensive:) One day we took our bikes across the ferry into Newport and rode up and down the boardwalk. Dan had spent many summers growing up in Newport, his family always rented beach houses for a week. For him it was fun to reminisce about the old times of going to The Wedge, getting ice cream in the afternoons and then getting more in the evening, and of body surfing with his cousins. For me it was a whole new place I got to explore. It was like unwrapping the best Christmas present ever! The best part was getting to use some of my creativity and take pictures:) I'll let them do the rest of the talking.

Bus Stop

2008-08-06T19:01:00.000-07:00

For the past year I have had a dark cloud glooming over me. I may being a little dramatic...okay I am being dramatic, but in all honesty it has felt like that. I have officially entered into the process. I passed my air brake test, my passenger endorsement test, and my general driving license test. I have one more test to pass, the biggest one and I have one more try. If I don't pass it then I have to take all of the tests all over again.
If I do past the tests, then there is another series of tests that have to do with driving the bus.
You might be saying..."If you can't pass the tests then maybe we don't want you driving the bus" and all I have to say to that is 'I agree' and 'practice makes perfect.'
I am realizing that this is just one of those things I just need to do, even though it isn't very much fun and the thought of driving a bus, having 40 people telling me to go the way they think is the fastest, or having to find a spot to pull over so someone who chose to sat in the back got car sick, it still will be a vital tool for me in ministry.
Please be praying for me as I try to finish this process and get my license.

Moving Day

2008-07-31T10:04:00.000-07:00

The common question asked is "Why did you guys move?" This is asked because in our recent move we happened to move literally across the street from where we used to live for the following reasons; bigger, fireplace, washer and dryer, storage included, air conditioning, water included, upstairs and most importantly for two people in ministry and going to grad school it is CHEAPER.
We are loving our new place and feel so blessed for the opportunity to be living where we are. We had been keeping our eyes out for a unit to open up in this complex and once it did we snagged it as soon as we could.
Thanks to a great moving squad (see picture) we were able to get moved in and unpacked all in one day! Just in time to have lunch with Shan's parents and get some homework done.
It has been a crazy couple of weeks with no sign of it letting up for a little bit but we are enjoying life and are humbled that God has opened this new place for us to call home.
Thanks to everyone who helped get us moved as I know it is never fun to move other peoples heavy furniture. Especially to the Redifer squad (family, non-family and future family) who stayed to help hang our pictures, shelves, unpack our fridge and clean up all the little things that don't find there way into boxes.

New York New York

2008-07-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

Back in June (the weekend of June 13,14,15) my dad gave me a call and offered to fly Shannon and I up to New York. Shannon had to work on Saturday so she couldn't go; but I decided to make the shot gun trip up to New York. I flew in on Friday, left on Sunday. I had a great time with my dad. It was a great way to celebrate fathers day and a great birthday present for me.
New York has become a great tradition for my dad and I. He goes there on business and I come hang out with him for the weekend.
When I think back to the weekend I think that we accomplish in two days what most people in a week. I ate pizza every time we walked by a pizza store (which was a lot), we went to central park, took a river cruise around the Island (past the statue of liberty and ellis island), went to a broadway play (see picture above to see the line that we stood in to get tickets), past ground zero, rockelfeller center, time sqaure, had dinner in Little Italy, toured the subway, walked around grand central station, and of course had some New York Cheesecake.
It was a great trip. Watch for future post about my time spent in New York.

Lots of Teaching

2008-07-02T08:02:00.000-07:00

This past two weeks has been a little on the crazy side. My sister and her family were out so that means a weekend to Palm Desert, trips to sea world and a lot of time in the swimming pool. It was a great to have them out to visit. The boys learned how to swim which warms the heart of the swim teacher in me. It was so much fun to see them swimming under water with their goggles. It reminded me of the time that I use to spend in the pool with my yellow life jacket. My parents use to have to come and pull my head out of the water because they were concerned that I was staying under for too long. Shan and I had a blast! We also got to see Aaron and Nate and share one of the rooms with them. It was fun to catch up with my big brothers and just hang out with them.
At The Gathering I have been working on two main things; although my boss has been on vacation for the past couple of weeks, so my responsibilities have varied; but, what I am most excited about is what I have been teaching on.
The first is our Tuesday night beach group. We are going through a book called The Grand Weaver by Ravi Zacharias. The first week the chapter was talking about how God intentionally designed us to be who we are, flaws included! And last night we talked about how God uses, what we view as, disappointments as a part of his purpose for us. We focused on a passage in Colossians 1:15-23ish. Here is a quote from the book that was our main focus from the night. "Here I simply want to see the appointments God makes with each of us individually in the disappointments of our lives--both the threads that he brings in and the ones that he leaves out, the snagged stitches and he "flaws" that show up at all the "wrong times." This is where we will find the distinctive shape and imprint of the Master Weaver." It is a great group of people that come and dive into the word of God and seek out practical ways to apply it into our lives.
The second is a teaching series that I have been working on called "Life in the Desert." The desert is a analogy for when we feel spiritually alone, or spiritualy dry, and the series is about what to do with that happens. The first we looked at Moses and the people of Israel and the time they spent in the wilderness. The central idea is that God draws us closer to him in the time we spend in the desert. That it is when we are in the desert that God talks to us with the most power and that it is in the desert that we experience the most change and growth in our lives. It has been very life giving for me to teach on this and I feel that it has been very practical for myself and the group.
I will post up this next week in a couple of days. (I need to put some finishing touches on it.)
Thanks for checking in!

Celebration of Life...

2008-06-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

You know those times when you are so overjoyed, so hopeful, so relieved that you must do something NOW to express it? It's the feeling I get when I watch The Chronicles of Narnia movies. Every time Aslan appears I want to stand up right then and there and clap my hands and jump up and down (I don't for fear of being labeled 'the insane lady' by the other hundred people in the theater who are there to really enjoy the movie without interruption by an overly zealous twenty something who can not practice self control or follow any sort of social rule at all...) It was additionally the feeling I got when I recently read Shauna Neiquist's Cold Tangerines. It wasn't the book so much hat made me want to stand up and clap my hands and jump up and down (though the book is quite worthy of that.) It was the example of a celebratory life that she lives throughout the book, and the possibility that I too could live such a life that made me brimming with hope, expectation and joy.

In the book, she describes the worst year of her life. And in the midst of it she proposes that life is too good, too precious, too God-breathed to not be celebrated. For me, God used it as a tool, as a God-send at just the right moment in my journey. This idea of a celebratory life was something that God had been molding and shaping my life into for some time before I came across the book. I had been going through a difficult and confusing time as to where I fit into life. Where was my place in my church now that I have stepped away from vocational ministry? Where was my place in my job, and why was I called there? Where was my place in the community of believers Dan and I are a part of? Where was my place as a wife? As a McGonigal and as a Vandewarker?

As these questions simmered and stewed, it was as if all the joy in my life had been locked in the closet, to be brought out at another time when all was right in my life and all was right with the world. Then through a series of circumstances and a conversation with my beloved husband, the fog lifted from my heart and I realized... Joy is a choice. Plain and simple. I can choose this life, this abundance, this celebratory way of living and of seeing and honoring God in my days, or I could continue to act like I was miserable because all was not right in my life and my heart. Thankfully God in His great wisdom knew how to speak to my heart through Dan and through the wonderful writing of Shauna Neiquist.

So today I choose Joy. And tomorrow I choose Joy not because everything is solved, and I have found my place in all my questions, and grad school has become easier, and marriage is easy and light. But I choose Joy today because God rejoices over my days and has little gifts to bring to me if only my heart is open. So today I celebrate because my head got pushed under water in the pool by my nephews one too many times, but it was all worth it to hear the squeal of delight of a three year old. Today I rejoice because God created a wonderful and weird grain called cous-cous and after vacation there was still some in my cupboard when the rest of the food in the house had been eaten. Today I rejoice because God has been faithful to us in providing us with financial support for the ministry Dan is doing, and because he has provided so abundantly that we can additionally bless others with our money. And today I rejoice because Christ has given me this gift called today to follow my vocation deeper to life a celebratory life as HIS.

Pandora.com

2008-06-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

So I may be way behind the eight ball with this, but my sweet friend Lauren told me about a cool website worth going to. It is called Pandora.com. It is a free music website. All you have to do is register, type in an artist or song title and Pandora creates a radio station which plays songs like that artist or songs which sound like the song you put in. It's pretty cool, and worth taking a gander at. I listen to it at work a lot when I get sick of hearing the same songs played over and over and over.... on the radio. Plus they play some artists who are not very well known, so you get to hear people you might like. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Numnah

2008-06-01T20:59:00.001-07:00

Pretty Funny stuff

The First Freckles

2008-05-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

The first freckles of summer have appeared on my forehead and nose. They came out during a long weekend Dan and I took to the fabulous Keating Beach House in Dana Point. It was a perfect weekend complete with 90 degree weather, playing with sea enenemies, and duling rounds of Sequence (which I was granted bragging rights to!)

Our good friends Kirk and Lindsey came up with their son Elijah as well as the wonderful duo of Tara and Matt. It was a great blessing to Dan and I to have a community of friends in the midst of our busy school schedules. These four were such a blessing to us as we had meaningful conversation, swam in the pool (elijah's first time swimming!), and enjoyed the ocean breeze.

It was a reminder to me to slow down and enjoy the moments that God gives me every day. Recently I have been seeking out contentment in where God has me, and this was a great reminder to me that God's preparation of me comes out of me being present in THIS moment. It is a challenge, but something God is slowly teaching me and changing me with.

Carefree

2008-05-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I had the chance to get away and spend time with the delightful Wolf family. Melanie was a mentor of mine in college and througout the time I also became close with her family. My time with them was a great refresher in the middle of the quarter. Melanie and I talked at length about women in ministry and the importance of knowing the language about how to talk about it. I jumped on their brand new trampoline, and had great laughs with the kids. The best part of the day, though was seeing Maryn and Maggie in their dance recital. They are two very cute girls who reminded me of the carefree lives of children. They are so resilient and can make a game out of anything! Here are a few pictures of the cute little ladies in at their recital. Oh, what a blessing to be around family and kids who remind us what it means to be childlike!

Equal or UnEqual?

2008-05-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

Shan and I spent 5 of our Sunday nights going to a bible/book study at Bethel taught by Dr. Scorige on the full equality of men and women in the Church. He spent time comparing the egalitarian and the complementarian point of views. It has been a very thought provoking experience for Shannon and I. It is amazing how nonnegotiable the topic is within the church. To even bring up the idea of women involvement in leadership in the Church makes the earthquake amongst the floor of the Church.

It has been a really good area for us to dive into as a married couple who is involved in the church. It has been very thought provoking and very challenging as it has been encouraging us to pursue a area that the Church has neglected for a long time. Be watching for some future posts about it.

2 Quotes

2008-05-15T15:21:00.000-07:00

This past week I had heard two different quotes that have stuck with me and I wanted to share them with you.

The first was "You only get one shot at today." It isn't a profound statement, but I think that it holds a lot of weight, especially in the context of today. It reminds me of that verse in Ecclesiastes 9:10 "Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might." It brings new responsibility for us to live with passion even in the days that we view as being mundane.

The other one was by our president that I heard in a interview online he said "Popularity is fleeting but principles will stand the test of time." (some along those lines) It reminded me of a couple of things; the importance of us living our lives so that we allow God to impact the world around us through us. The other was that sometimes we are going to have to make decisions that don't make sense to everyone around us but we need to be in tune with the Spirit through prayer and the Word of God and then allow it to help us in our decisions.

These are very rough sketches of what has been on my mind lately; leave a comment and let me know what you think.

22 Days

2008-05-12T16:47:00.001-07:00

I apologize for the length between writings. We try our best not to go this long, but sometimes it happens.

Be looking out for a news letter in the next week. If you would like to receive one (and you haven't received one in the past), please send me an e-mail DanVan@efcc.org and I will send you one.

Shan and I have been doing great.

This week was symbolic for me of what to expect this summer. We had our first weekend BBQ to signify the early beginning of the summer months. It was great though, we had 2 new people come, friends have been bringing friends...all of the things that I hope to see at the start of summer.

Please be praying for us as we start to try and reach out more to local areas around Escondido to invite non-Christians and or Christians who have been out of touch with the church.

Thank you for your grace in allowing weeks to pass between writings. I look forward to getting back into the swing of things.

Revival

2008-04-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

This quarter I am taking two classes. I taking an Old Testament (Isaiah to Malachi) class and a Introduction to Missions course. In my Mission's class we were talking about the revival('s) of 1907 and what was interesting is that revivals were taking place all around the world not just in the United States.

Another interesting aspect was what the criteria was when they were evaluating a "Revival."

The evaluation of the success or of the failure of the revival was based on the community (not just the Churched, but the Un-Churched) that surrounded the church. Not just purely what was happening in the church (attendance, new believers, new volunteers, new programs, new events etc.). What would it look like if our church evaluations were based on our community’s response to our churches existence; not purely what is happening within the walls of the church. I wonder how what we would do differently?

Sunday

2008-04-06T15:05:00.000-07:00

This was officially the end of our vacation. We ended up on the same flight as a girl from the college group (small world).

We had a great trip in the Springs. It was so much fun to get away from our normal routine. To have a break from school and to get to see our family. Lisa and Rick were great hosts it was a blast to get to see them and spend some time with them. Cameron was very generous in giving up his room for the week, and Aaron even gave up his bed for the last night. It is such a blessing to have close families that we can go visit (on both sides).

We look forward to the next time.

Saturday

2008-04-05T12:20:00.001-07:00

Our last full day at the Springs. It was a bitter sweet day. Our vacation was almost over.

Our last morning we spent at the Garden of the Gods with Aaron. The highlight of the morning was that we got within 5 feet of a deer that surprised us, although we have no picture to prove it because our camera battery died.

That afternoon we went to the park with the boys and played football with the boys. The kids loved the park. Then in the evening we went to Aaron's apartment and stayed the night there. Aaron and I went in the jacuzzi for about an hour and then joined my wife in bed at a rather late hour in the night (or morning depending on how you look at it.)

Friday

2008-04-05T11:57:00.000-07:00

On Friday we woke up to breakfast made my Aaron and Lisa. Then we went to Focus On the Family for Cameron's birthday party, there is a kid's section called Wit's End. There was a three story slide that the kids got to go down. Shannon was short enough to go down it. It was fun to hear "Oh my goodness, my Aunt Shannon is going to go down" from Cam.

That evening we went to The Mill at New Life church. Then we went to Old Chicago with Aaron and our friend John.

Thursday

2008-04-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

On Thursday I (and my brother Aaron) took Shan to see where I went to school. It was crazy how much it has changed. There was a new rec center, and pretty much all of the buildings had been remodeled. It was a blast for me to show shan where I went to school. The three of us got to spend some good time together hanging out and spending the day together.

One picture in particular was of the mascot. Shan likes to mock the mighty "mountain lion" so we took a picture with it.

Then on Thursday night our friend Brandy came over and babysat the boys and Rick, Lisa, Aaron and us went to Old Chicago for dinner and the evening out. We had a great time hanging out with, almost, all of the siblings. That night we stayed up playing a card game called "Golf."

SIDENOTE: It is Camerons birthday today!!!!!

Wednesday

2008-04-02T17:41:00.000-07:00

For Wednesday Rick took the day off work to hang out with everyone. The morning started out with poached eggs and ham along with Chocolate chip waffles. It was a very elaborate mornings breakfast.

We played some intense football and t-ball games in the backyard. We also shot some bow and arrows the backyard.

The biggest highlight of the day was Shannon and I got to go on a date up to a little place in the mountains called The Swiss Chalet. It was a great (I used the word "cute" but then I deleted it because MEN don't say cute) country-type resaurants in the Rockies. We had Steak and Salmon. The food literally melted in your mouth. After that we went home and played some board games with the family.

Tuesday

2008-04-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

After catching up on our lack of sleep from our 6am flight on Monday we woke up to another beautiful day that screamed out to us "COME HIKE" so we did. We piled up the two older boys (Cam and Mitch) to go hiking in the Garden of the Gods. The two boys were very eager to have pictures taken of themselves and to climb up rocks. It was cool to see and hear the boys interacting with their new aunt. I found that sometimes I would let her help them just so that I could get to see them interact with each other. It was very special to me as their uncle and her husband.

The day ended with Jackson gaining momentum and running towards me and jumping into my arms. I think that he could have gone all night.

Monday

2008-03-31T17:00:00.001-07:00

Our new quarter started this week. We just got back from Colorado Springs and instead of one long blog I thought I would break down each day of our into this week. So be watching this week for a new blog each day of the week.

On Monday we got to the airport early (which is a great surprise) my sister hadn’t even left the house and we had landed on the ground! It was a beautiful day!
We got to go see Shan’s old house, and her church that her family helped plant. Even in a year since I was there last the Springs has grown immensely, it was crazy for me to see how fast a city can grow. I felt like every building we drove by I was saying “this is new,” “what’s that…” When the boys started copying me I thought that was a sign that I should stop asking questions about all of the new things that had been built.

The beauty of God is so evident in his creation…This was vividly seen in our arrival to the Springs.

Vacation

2008-03-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

It is great to be in the Springs. We got in on Monday to a beautiful sunny Colorado day and have been spending some much needed time away from school, work and time with family and each other!
Be watching for pictures in the next week.

He Is Risen!

2008-03-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

Dan and I got to spend some much needed time outside today. The beginning of Spring is bringing new life to the area, especially since the fires. It's so cool to see areas which were just devestated by the fires just a few months ago now brimming with new life and brilliant wildflowers! It is such a reminder to me that from death God brings new life. Friday was not the end for Christ because Sunday was just two days away, and HE ROSE! Death was not the end, and for the people of San Diego God has given us a tangible picture in His creation. New life and wildflowers. May our lives be a reflection of the resurrection as we celebrate Easter this year!

Alarm Clocks

2008-03-17T15:43:00.001-07:00

We are very excited to go spend some time with our family in the Springs. While we are there we will get to celebrate two of the boy's birthday's. Shannon will get to see where she spent some of her childhood, and where I spent my college years and we will get a much needed break after a crazy quarter.

Then when we get back we are going to jump right into another quarter of school! Life is very sweet right now. We feel very blessed to be in this stage of our marriage.

Excellent Instruments

2008-03-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

This is Shannon's last night speaking atThe Well (the college group). I hope you enjoy listening to it. She did a great job! You can listen to it online. Click here and enjoy!

Stress

2008-03-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

We are officially under stress. Our quarter has less then a week to go and we are cramming like crazy to get papers written and books read. It is a fine balance to get everything done, and to also get it done in good quality. Hopefully this week we will learn (as much as we can in this last week) what that balance is.

For our spring break are going to Colorado Springs for a week. We are very excited for the upcoming break.

Craziness!

2008-03-11T17:46:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been pretty crazy with all the changes going on in our lives. I am really liking my new job. They sent me to Minnesota for training. I loved the state as it was my first visit there. I loved how down to earth the people were, and how much they loved each other. I loved the snow (they made me run around in it because I was the 'girl from California') as well. Now in my new job, I am learning new things, it's a big switch from doing relational ministry to working at a computer all day, but I know the Lord has good things in store for me in it. As in Deuteronomy it says we will rest in between the Lord's shoulders. So as finals come and as I continue to learn how to be a disciple, a wife, and a Bethel Seminary employee, this is what I am doing. Resting in between the shoulders of God.

Birthday!!!

2008-03-09T17:14:00.001-07:00

Today is my beautiful wifes 24th birthday!

I used almost of my creative power to come up with a miny garden for her complete with herbs and flowers. So today she played in the dirt.

Winter Retreat

2008-03-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

The Gathering is leaving on its first winter retreat!
Be watching for some pictures of the retreat on the blog site.

Please pray for us that people will grow closer together through Christ. My hope is that from this trip the group forms close relationships with each other. Also that people on the trip will feel the need to be committed to a community.

Rev Barry Black

2008-03-07T10:01:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I got to go hear the United States Chaplain speaks at Bethel. Barry Black started with a startling statistic that only 1 out of 10 people in seminary will die with their faith. He then went on to say how it is important that we are planning on finishing the race (our own spiritual journey) by using the four principles; Honest evaluation of you own spiritual journey, learning to focus (on Jesus), Breaking the power of your past and persevere to the end. What stands out to me the most in how to apply this to therapy or the church as a pastor, or even us as individuals in the church working in ministry, is that we as therapist, or pastors, or volunteers have to be making constant steps towards our own spiritual health is we are going to have any hope of pointing other people towards the healing power of Christ. We have to have our focus on Christ, and be constantly turning our eyes towards him for guidance if we are going to "run to win" in our ministries.

Post-College Blog

2008-02-27T17:09:00.001-08:00

Check out the new post-college blog page. www.thegatheringefcc.blogspot.com

Everything is Changing

2008-02-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

The past couple of weeks have been full of new things. A new name for the post-college group, which is now called "The Gathering," we got to spend some time with my brother Aaron for a weekend while he was out here talking to a church in Valley Center, and I did my first counseling research paper and project for my marriage, pre-marriage and family counseling class (with the help of my wife). We got to spend the day with Shannon's parents while Dad was out at a chaplains conference, and Mom was here working on their families beach house that just got re-modeled, she had a respite night for the foster families in Escondido area, and the biggest change for her, and us, is that she accepted a new job at Bethel Seminary working as a assistant to the person in charge of development. We are very excited about this new opportunity, here are some of the changes;

She will be working Monday through Thursday (on most weeks) which will open up the weekends for us to be able to spend more time together. This is an answered prayer for our family as we have been working two ministries at the church it was leaving us with very limited time to spend with each other (we normally worked every night of the week except for Friday and Saturday which didn't leave us very much time to spend with each other, or to establish a good community of people around us) Please pray for us as we entering this time of transition. Please pray for Shannon as she is going to learn new skills and be taking in a new work environment. Praise God with us that he has provided this new opportunity for us.

Shannon is going to be stepping away from working on staff at the Church in the college group. Please pray for the group in this transition. Please praise God that he has called her to a new ministry opportunity as she prepares the way for future seminary students to come and learn how to use their gifts to build the Kingdom.

I am going to be committing more to the post-college group exclusively and stepping away from serving in the Resonate service (with the exception of some weekends, eg. Easter, Christmas, etc.). This is great news as I will be able to focus in more on my gifts and how to implement them into the lives of the people in the group, and for the first time in our dating/engagement/marriage Shannon and I will get to go to church together as "normal church people." Please pray for me as I am investing more in the lives of the post-college students, and praise God with us that Shannon and I will get to celebrate the Sabbath together.

We are very excited for what is to come. We have been praying for God to show us where He wants us to be, and this is what He has provided for us. We are eagerly stepping into the changes that God is bringing to us. Thank you for you prayers and support.

New Name

2008-02-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

The post college group is now going to be known as "The Gathering"

What do you think?

The Need for Health

2008-01-31T23:18:00.000-08:00

The longer I am in ministry the more I realize that so many very devoted followers of Christ are in such dire need for healthy realtionships in their lives. I look around at the Church, knowing that each of us is in such need for health and renewal in our lives. I am not above those I work with, I too need health. I need Jesus to continuously change me and make me more human, and in the process He brings health and wholeness to my life. This is not an instant thing, it happens graudally over time. With that said, the need for health in realtionships is why I am being trained as a counselor. I long to be an agent of Christ's health and wholeness in people's lives, so the Kingdom of God can be made more visible on earth!

Expression of the Heart

2008-01-29T21:00:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago, I had a great opporunity to do a lesson on how we as Christ followers are called to express our love to the people around us. I called it "Expression of the Heart." I thought this to be applicable because I think a lot of times we focus on how hard it is to love people instead of just stepping out of our comfort zone's and putting ourselves out there for people. That is the example that Christ left for us on the Cross. I used a quote from CS Lewis book called "The Four Loves"
"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which thy should break, so be it."

The main question that we were answering was "How do we ensure that what flows from our hearts is connecting people to Christ? We watched the crucifiction scene from "Passion of the Christ" and witness how Christ explicitly stated his heart to the world. The four things that we took note of were that he FREELY served, he FREELY forgave, he FREELY sacraficed and he FREELY loved.

I will paste the notes below. Read as much as you would like.

One of the things that I have been noticing lately is that it is not always easy to love people; even the people closest to us. Let me put it this way, because we are all selfish human beings, and to love someone completely means you put them before yourself in all that you do. It is hard to love people.

We are wronged by people daily; we have justified reasons everyday to get into arguments, to gossip, to lie, to cheat, to steal, to go behind someone’s back. But are these good expressions of our heart? Are they beneficial? (1 Corinthians 6:12) Are they good representations of a heart that Christ has bought with His death?

From what we have been talking about the past couple of weeks we know that our heart is central to everything that we do. It holds our emotions, our feelings, it controls our actions, it holds our motives and intentions, it is central to all thing we do. It’s what we express that shows people our hearts.
(Luke 6:45, TNIV) Jesus said, “Good people bring good things out of the good stored up in their heart, and evil people bring out the evil stored up in their heart. For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

Let me tell you about my life and where I am at right now. Since getting married one of the prayers that I have been praying is that I would be constantly learning how to love my wife better and in new ways. That out of love I would serve my wife, encourage my wife, protect my wife… and as I am praying for these things, time goes by and I have started to realize that I have been getting defensive with God sometimes. When I start to see her excel, I start to get defensive in that God is doing something and not letting me know about it. Although this is something that I am still praying through, one thing I do know is that this defensive void in my life comes from my previous experiences with God and love.

You see when it comes to expressing our hearts with people, sharing our lives with people we all have past hurts that inhibit us from truly loving people. More importantly these past hurts keep us from loving God and being love by God. Whether it be a boyfriend or a girlfriend, a family member, a teacher, a parent, whomever might have caused you pain in your life and create insecurities inside of you, those insecurities stop us from loving people, because they are voids of what love truly is. A friend of mine was raped by their father; imagine the void that they have in their heart on looking to God as a father.

We all have pains in our lives. We have to realize that those pains are not the love that God has for us.

(1 John 4:16-17, TNIV) And so we rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment. In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

This is the love that God has in store for us.

Main Point: We are all fallen people living in a fallen world called to love each other.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8, TNIV) 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”
We typically read this in weddings but it is not about people getting married. It is about how we love each other on a daily basis. We sell this verse short when we limit it to our marriages when it was meant for the entire body of Christ, and for those who would ever encounter the body of Christ.

Tonight we are talking about the “Expression of the Heart,” about how we are to explicitly state our hearts to each other. Since God is love, then tonight we are going to look to the ultimate expression of love which was sent to us from God.

(John 3:16, TNIV) “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

God sent His son, Jesus to die for us so that we can be in a loving, eternal relationship with Him. God explicitly stated his love for us by giving us his son so that we would have an opportunity to be in a loving relationship with Him and with each other. He did it so that we would be here tonight learning how to love like God has intended for us to do.
As Christians, Jesus and the cross are at the center of all that we do. It is what makes the Christian faith the Christian faith. It is the ultimate expression of love and it is the example that we have to follow as Christians.

We are going to watch a scene from the Passion of the Christ. It is a graphic scene. It is a challenging scene, but as Christians it is the center of what we believe. It is the cost that Jesus paid for us out of love.

What did Jesus do?
1. He freely served us by doing what we couldn’t do.
(Col 1:19-20, Col 2:13-14, John 14:6, TNIV)

2. He freely forgave
(Luke 23:34, Luke 23:43, TNIV)

3. He freely sacrificed
(John 10:17a-18, John 19:11, TNIV)

4. He freely loved
(Luke 23:34, Luke 23:43, Luke 6:27-28, TNIV)

It’s when we go to the cross that we are able to began to understand how we are suppose to love others. When we realize daily, the cost of what it means to be called Christians that God would send His Son to die for a fallen people in a fallen world so that we could have a relationship with Him; that is when we will began to truly express our hearts to each other.

We have an opportunity in every single interaction to show Christ’s love to someone.

(Hebrews 12:1-3, TNIV) And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Funny Story

2008-01-29T20:54:00.001-08:00

While we were in Mexico we were told that we couldn't touch each other. They said that if they saw us holding hands that they would assume we were sleeping together....

It was the first time that I was told sleeping together is a bad thing after your married...

Go figure...

Dan

Mexico Results

2008-01-21T20:48:00.000-08:00

The Mexico trip was a great success. On the way down we had to bring our bus through the Mexican border patrol inspection, due to the fact that we didn't enter Mexico in the bus lane (oops). It was quite humorous as the border patrol came on with his dog and was speaking Spanish to us, and not one person knew how to speak Spanish. I think he found it funny, as we found it ironic that a church was coming into Mexico to build homes, but yet did not speak any Spanish whats so ever.

The two "homes" were a 12 X 12 and a 16 X 12 room with no flooring. It was only the third build of the year and the staff that was leading us was relatively new.

It was so great to see how we can communicate with actions and not only words. How God's love is shared with people through our actions. It takes the question of "how do you serve someone without knowing their language" head on!

We were able to enjoy some good authentic Mexican food, a dollar for each item is hard to beat when you are getting Carnie Asada talko's. It tasted great going down, but for me (and only me) it did not taste as good when it came out at 4:00 in the morning. This was after a three hour wait at the border coming back into America.

It was a great trip. Thank you so much for your prayers and support.

2008-01-11T16:41:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note.

Shan is checking in about 30 college students as we are getting ready to head down to Mexico. We are going to be building two new "homes," althought in America we would refer to them as shacks that we would use in our backyards, for two families.

It is always a very humbling trip to journey down into Mexico.

Please be praying for our safety as we are going to be going into a new place.

Here is a video from a previous trip that we have been on to do the same the type of thing.

Blessings,

Dan

2008-01-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

We are working on a updated letter to mail out to you this week.

Thank you so much for being a part of our lives.

We feel so blessed to be serving with you in ministry.

Wedded Bliss

2007-12-25T22:07:00.000-08:00

Well we are married. In the past week we have been snorkeling, kyaking, swimming in waterfalls hiking, snowboarding, snowshoeing and celebrated Christmas. The past week has been so great! It's amazing how much a person's life can change in one day, but needless to say, we love the change. Dan has nicknamed me thrasher after many smacks in the face while sleeping (or not sleeping in his case as he tries to keep on guard from my nocturnal anguish.) "You're so sweet when you wake up in the morning, but during the night I seriously think you are ticked at me!" He said to me. I have decided to apologize first thing when I wake up regardless of what I remember.

God is so good to us this Christmas. We have been reflecting on so many prayers which have been answered with us getting married and the beginning of our new (two person) family. Most of all God has been good to us in bring his Son to us. Oh, the goodness and grace of it all!

We have one more week off work and then we will be back into the swing of things at church. We are ready to get settled back into normal life, but have loved our time of vacation together.

20 Days

2007-11-26T01:16:00.000-08:00

20 Days until our Wedding and Shannon and I could not be more excited. Today we were reflecting on how blessed we feel to be in this stage of life. To be getting married, to be in school, and to be in ministry at Emmanuel Faith has been such an amazing time of life. Thank you so much for you love and support of us on so many different levels.
A lot has happened in the past little bit, both in ministry and in life. The college group has been going great. The new college pastor has been doing a fabulous job with the group, the students response to him and his wife has been very positive. The group is getting ready to leave on a housebuilding trip down to Mexico this weekend.
The post college group is going to be switching into their next segment of large group meetings. For this month we are going to do a series called "Christmas Perspectives" where we will look at Christmas from the perspective of different people in the Christmas story; Herod, Joseph, and possibly the Shepherds.
At home, well, I moved into our apartment, we threw some paint on some old furniture, and now we officially have a place to call home. It is of course missing someone, but as of 20 days Mr. and Mrs. will have a little one bedroom apartment waiting for them. It is such a blessing!

If you could be praying for us as we are finishing up our semester of school and finishing up some of the final details of the wedding.
Pray that we are able to stay healthy as people around us are starting to catch their winter colds.
And pray that we would be able to enjoy this last 20 days with or without whatever stress it might bring.

Thanks for your interest in our lives, and in what we are doing in the ministry's that you have joined us in.

Dan and Shan

Fire Control

2007-10-27T22:12:00.000-07:00

As you can see, even as a child I was equipped for the smoke infested air that we am currently breathing in, in Escondido.

God has been very gracious to us in protecting us from the recent fires. We escaped up to Glendora for a day and then to La Canada for the weekend to see Shannon's cousin get married. It was a great time. One of my favorite things was as everyone was leaving the wedding they were saying "see you in a month at Shannon's wedding." (Granted it is a little longer then a month) We had a great time with Shannon's family.

This week is our "reading week" where we get to take a week to catch up on our reading for school (as you can see they assume we will fall behind, because they assign us so much to read) or if you are caught up on your reading you can take an intensive class for the week. Shannon is having to make up a class on Monday that she missed due to the fires, and I will be taking an intensive course called "interpreting the Bible in cross cultural contexts." I am really excited for the class and the books that I will get the opportunity to read this coming week.

Thank you so much for checking in on us and our lives. We are so grateful for your love and support.

Blessings,

Dan

Fire In the hole

2007-10-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

As some of you are seeing in the news things are a little crazy here. In the event that someone is checking in on us via blogspot, I thought I would let you know what was happening.

We currently are fine. This morning I went to pick up Shannon from the Keatings household and we have been spending the day up at my parents house. My parents live north of where the main fires are at. Things are much more encouraging here as the fires do not seem to be very close; but there are some that are starting to form in Valley Center, although the news does not seem very interested in them. The Keatings are safe and intact, and still at their home.

Seminary is going great! We have been taking our first tests, and projects. We are so blessed to be where we are in life, and to have God's provision in our lives.

Dropping In

2007-10-07T16:53:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the delay in communication. I didn't realize that it had been so long since we had made a new post. Since school start and as the wedding gets closer time seems to be flying by. Sometimes, faster then others, and then sometimes slower then others.
For the most part we have been doing a good job at staying on top of our studies. Shan is a little bit more diligent then I am when it comes to studying in little chunks, where as I save my reading for the last minute and read for two days straight.
In one of my classes we have been talking about spirituality. My teacher has been talking about how culture has so many definitions of Spirituality and how that effects the biblical definition of Spirituality. I am going to be writing a paper on it this week, so I am in the process of sorting through the different thoughts in my mind.
Things at church are going really well. The post-college small groups have been very consistent, as far as people showing up and coming ready to dive into God's Word.
We will be mailing out an updated letter to everyone so be watching for it in the mail.

Thanks for taking interest in our lives.

Blessings,
Dan V

school bells a ringing

2007-09-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

My fiance is on drugs. Literally, she has been on medication now for about three weeks. We have been waiting for some results to come back as to why she has had a fever for a couple of weeks now. Because of this she has decided to cut her class load from 13 credits to 9 credit hours. She is going to take "Principles of counseling" and "Theories of marriage and family theraphy 1 (with a lab)." We just got her books in the mail in a daunting package from the Amazon.com.

I will be taking 12 credits; however 4 of those credits will be in a "intensive" one week setting. I am going to be taking "Discipleship and Community," "Hermeneutics," and "Interpreting the bible in cross-cultural contexts." I also have now formed a pile of books on the floor of my room. They kind of taunt me from a distance saying "this will be your next three months." I am excited for whats to come.

We start school on the 19 (Wednesday). Stuff at the church has been going well. We have found a new college pastor who is going to be starting at the end of the October. We both have our small groups starting up this week. The post-college group has really had a great turn out in sign ups for the coming quarter of small groups. We are going to be going through a book called "Redefining life: My purpose" that is put out by Nav Press. We have about 30 people involved so far.

Thank you for all your prayers and support.

Dan and Shannon

A whole host of things...

2007-09-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

I was reminded again today as I met with our Outreach Ministries pastor, that my internship has been and will continue to be so much more about doing college ministry. I have had and hopefully will continue to have amazing opportunities to work with so many different people on staff. As the body of Christ is made up of many people who make many parts, I am coming to see that as a Church staff we are many people who make up many different parts. It's neat to see some of the pastors call on my expertise in a certain area, though I am young, and inexperienced. I always learn so much from them, just by the humble gracious attitudes, they exude. I feel like more than just giving me experience with college students, I am seeing how a Church works and functions well when all the parts do their part! And, for this I am grateful to Christ...

Shannon

New Student Orientation

2007-08-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

Shannon and I both had our new student orientation atBethel Seminary. We will be starting in about a month. It is a stressful, crazy, testing and great time of life. I feel like I am learning a new monumental lesson of life with each new day.
It was so great to hear the prospective that the profs. have in teaching seminary classes. I can really see the passion that they have for the church and for the future ministers of the church. Even as I hear about Shannon's day and the approach that the teachers take in training the future therapists of my generation; it is so encouraging to hear about how much they desire for us to bring healing to the hurt and to help point the brokenhearted to the one true source of restoration and redemption.
It is going to be quite and adventure...

A God who desires to be loved

2007-08-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

Shannon here: The last few weeks have been really interesting. I don't know if this ever happens to you, but God somehow has placed a message before me, over and over and over again so that I would get it. Through conversations, bible study, reading some books, and praying through it all, I have come to see that our God, our great and gracious God is a God who desires to be loved by ME and by YOU! God is not content with us just accepting His love, he has a great desire to be loved in return. All the devices he uses to speak words of blessing over me are so that I in return would bless him. Not that he needs my love, but he DESIRES my love because he DESIRES ME. He finds uch delight in my presence that he wants it over and over again. The crazy thing is about it, the more I realize he desires me the more I desire him! My prayer is that my eyes would be opened to his wooing me and that I would have the courage to remain open and responsive to his love...

communion

2007-08-07T11:57:00.000-07:00

This week I lead communion for the Saturday night service and the Sunday morning Resonate services. It was so great. I have a lot to learn about body posture and my tone in my monotone voice; but it was so cool to look out at the church and see the body of Christ in the people sitting in the church pew's/chairs.
It was such a blessing to look and see young and old, single and married, high school, junior high, all different ages and lifestyles all sitting in one place for the purpose of learning more about God. Then to lead all of those different kinds of people sitting there taking communion, recognizing that Jesus died to unite us as on body in Christ. It was so refreshing to me!

staying in touch

2007-07-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

The next couple of weeks are going to be an exciting time for Shan and I. In the post-college ministry I am going to be teaching the next two weeks. On one of the weeks I am looking at commandment's 3 and 4, and the following week I am going to be teach on James 4:13-17. I am extremely excited for the chance to teach in the post-college group. It will be a new experience for me since, in previous times my audience has always been younger then me. I am really looking forward to diving into scripture and sharing what I learn with my peers.
Shan is also teaching the next week in the College group. The summer theme for the college group is "Spiritual Formation," looking at Gods' desire for us to be formed into His image. She has been doing a great job with the girls in the college group. They are doing a study by Beth Moore called breaking free. She has about 35 girls involved in the study. It is so amazing to see so many girls discovering how they can become FREE in Christ!